This week’s episode title had me somewhat puzzled at first, until I realized the song being referenced was “The Chase” incidental music from A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum (two Forum songs in a row!) which underscores the giant chase sequence at the end of the show. During this sequence everyone basically runs around like crazy until they somehow eventually end up right where they belong – be it reunited with their family, in the arms of their true love, or free (amongst others). Although this episode didn’t have any literal chase scenes, it did steer the characters towards some happy endings, love, and new pursuits (both creepy – I’m talking to you new guy, and uninteresting – that would be you, Bolens).
More importantly, this episode had more gay people than a matinee of Xanadu. Where have all of Bob and Lee’s gay friends been hanging out? I refuse to believe that a porch full of gay men drinking cosmos in the middle of the afternoon is a normal event on Wisteria Lane. Speaking of gay guys, nice to see you again Andrew! We also got some speedy progress on the Katherine/Robin front. It wasn’t only a good night for the gays, but the b-list characters really got a chance to shine this week too. Now if only we could have avoided seeing the Bolens for an entire episode, it would have been a completely satisfying episode.
Gabby and the Gays
Celia comes down with a case of the chicken pox, which means pox-susceptible Gabby gets a vacation. Why she ended up at Bob and Lee’s home instead of someone she is a bit closer to is kind of a mystery, but we’ll role with it because it means we get to see more of our fave gay men on Wisteria Lane (sorry Andrew, you’ve been slacking, and I can’t even remember what your boyfriend looks like). Gabby is in heaven. Not only does she get to take a nap in the middle of the day, but she also gets to drink herself silly and party with dozens of gay men we’ve never seen before. Really, guys? Isn’t Bob a lawyer? Is he really drinking and partying so heavily on a week night? I know they have to juxtapose their FABULOUS life with Gabby’s boring family life, but what adult couple with jobs actually does like that?
Anyways, Carlos tells Gabby that the kids aren’t contagious anymore, but she isn’t quite ready to leave her vacation yet. She tells Carlos that she has a stomach virus so she’d better stay a way a little longer, and the party continues.
“I have mini quiches in the fridge and ten gays on speed dial.” ~ Lee
For a while longer she is happy being the center of the gay universe, charming them all with stories from her modeling years, but when Celia (or was it Juanita?) calls to tell her about making a soccer goal she stumbles upon a quiet room which turns out to be a nursery. Bob finds her and tells her that he and Lee have been trying to adopt a baby, but it hasn’t been going so well. They came very close a couple of months ago, and even held a little girl in their arms for two days before social services informed them that the mother had changed her mind (Gabby can relate, if you recall).
“You may envy our lives, Gaby, but it's nothing compared to how we envy yours.” ~ Bob
She of course heads back home with a refreshed appreciation of her family. This whole plot was pretty much just for comic relief, but it was sure nice to see more out of Bob and Lee. I hope they don’t drop the adoption storyline.
Bree, Andrew, and Creeper McCreeperson
Bree is a bit frustrated by Andrew who is coming up a little short in terms of managing her employees. Tad, a young gay guy who we’ll probably never see again, accidentally accepted a delivery of 100 flower arrangements, instead of the 10 that they ordered. Bree wants to take care of Tad, but Andrew says he can handle it – it’s his job, and he’ll never get any better at it if she doesn’t let him handle his mistakes. To be fair, Tad is a moron and should definitely be fired. I’m team Bree on that one. Next thing you know some creepy dude waltzes into Bree’s office, declares himself a huge fan, and wants to work for her. She’s skeptical, but his qualifications are outstanding and he comes up with a brilliant solution to her flower problem right off the bat. The guy, Sam Allen, is a definite creeper. You can tell right off the bat. Not helping his case is that he’s played by Sam Page, who plays Greg Harris (Joan’s loser, rapist of a husband) on Mad Men. I know a bad guy when I see one!
Sam later tells Bree and Andrew that he thinks they should fire Tad, and when Andrew puts up a fight Sam reveals that he thinks Andrew is having an affair with Tad. That’s a pretty bold accusation to make in front of someone’s mother/boss, don’t you think Sam? Andrew admits that it’s true, but Bree shouldn't be able to judge him for cheating on Alex considering how she cheated on Orson with Karl. Pot, Kettle, etc. Later on Sam has a heart to heart with Bree, saying that it must be difficult having a family member as an employee. How does she know when to cut the apron strings and stop coddling Andrew? He says that he can take of things at work, and that she should go catch up on her sleep. As soon as she clears out he picks up Andrew’s “World’s Greatest Son” son mug and pours himself a cup a creepy coffee. Whatever this guy is up to it is no good. Andrew and Bree should both watch out!
Happy Birthday
This was epic fail week over at the Scavos. Somehow Lynette and Tom managed to forget Penny’s birthday. I’m sorry, but I don’t know any 11 year olds who don’t start giving you a countdown at least 2 months before their birthday. For the sake of the plotline we’ll just say that Penny is as quiet and forgettable as her amount of screen time this season would imply.
Tom: How could you forget her birthday?
Lynette: I'm pregnant. I forget pants sometimes.
They try to make it up to her with a party that night, but things are only made worse when Lynette accidentally tells the bakery to put “Polly” on the cake, instead of Penny (this is one of the baby names being tossed around). Fail. The next day Penny doesn't take the bus from school. One of her classmates gives Lynette a note saying that Penny had run away from home. She and Tom get thoroughly judged at the police station, where they receive a call saying that Penny is at a hotel where she tried to check in using their credit card. Apparently the hotel has no issues renting rooms to 11 year olds, because when Lynette shows up Penny has made herself comfortable in the room and had already cracked open an $8 jar of nuts. Lynette apologizes, but Penny says she isn’t mad at Lynette, she’s mad at the baby. Lynette tells her to look at the bright side. Soon Porter will be moving out, and then it they’ll have a 3 to 2 female majority in the house.
“Think of a world where the toilet seat is never up! This is our time to take them down!” ~ Lynette
They have themselves a good tickle and decide to stay in the hotel room that night and order ice cream sundaes.
McCluskey, Roy, and that meddling Susan
While over for breakfast, Susan starts questioning Roy as to whether he sees marriage in his and McCluskey’s future. He says that he and Karen are happy they way they are, but it turns out McCluskey has a different opinion. Susan practically forces Roy to propose on the spot. Since Susan eventually ruins everything she touches, things immediately start to go wrong. Roy tells her that the second he wasn’t allowed to look at other women, he started noticing them. He was certain he would end up cheating on Karen. He even plants a kiss on Susan to drive home his point (and to make for interesting promos). When Susan gets up the nerve to warn McCluskey about Roy’s wandering eye, she finds her crying on her sofa. No, Roy hasn’t left her – the doctors found a spot on her lung that they think might be cancer. This is especially traumatic since the actress has lung cancer in real life. Susan runs into Roy on the way home and he says that cancer picked the wrong broad to start a fight with. She’s going to beat this thing. Also, they’re going to get married as soon as possible. Awwwwww.
The Boring Bolens
These scenes were such a waste of air time. Couldn’t we have tacked them on to the beginning of the next episode instead? Danny lied to his parents and said he went camping with Eddie to clear his mind. As we know, he went to NYC to search for Anna. They later run into Eddie at the grocery store who reveals where Danny had really gone. Oh no! What if Danny goes back to the old neighborhood? What is Patrick finds him? What if I COULD NOT POSSIBLY CARE LESS?!?! Sorry, but I am so over their storyline. Angie I don’t mind as much, but Danny and Nick are useless and annoying. Couldn’t these minutes have gone to a more intesting storyline, like . . .
Katherine and Robin
Katherine, who totally isn’t into women if you recall, starts out with a steamy dream sequence staring Robin, maple syrup, and very little clothing. Oh my, Katherine, what gay dreams you are having! She later talks to her therapist about the dreams and says they can’t possibly mean she is interested in women, because people her age don’t just wake up one day with an entirely different sexuality (pffffffffft, okay Katherine, sure they don’t). Her therapist makes a good point and reminds us that Katherine was coo coo for coco puffs just a short while ago, and romantic interludes of any sort might not necessarily be in her best interests. He suggests that it might be for the best to ask Robin to search for new living arrangements (hey, way to rain on our lesbian parade!).
Later Robin comes home with good news – she just scored a hostessing job at a fancy sounding restaurant. She thanks Katherine for loaning her the shirt she is wearing ( . . . really? ok) and she pops open a bottle of champagne, which spills all over her. Robin takes off the shirt so she can go rinse it out, despite Katherine’s protests. Katherine flashes back to her dream, and blurts out that Robin needs to move out. Robin is upset, and exposed (she stands there in her bra for the rest of the scene – I think Julie Benz was clothed for about 5% of her screen time this week). Katherine reveals that she has developed feelings for Robin, which is something she can’t handle right now, so Robin needs to move out. Robin admits that she also has feelings for Katherine. She goes upstairs to pack, but Katherine can’t stay away for long. Just a little while later she goes into Robins room and closes the door suggestively (really, you bothered to close the door even though you are the only two living there?). The next morning we find Katherine and Robin in bed together. Katherine’s expression is a little hard to read. Hopefully she doesn’t have a morning after freak-out.
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