TV Blind Dates ~ Part 3

The final installment of awkward random TV pairings.




Annie Edison (Community) and John Locke (Lost)

Common Ground: The both have a vulnerable side, a need for approval, and obsessive tendencies. Also, I’m just guessing about Annie, but I think it’s safe to bet that they are both rocking some Daddy issues.

Possible Conflicts: The age difference is staggering, and a little gross. Plus Locke’s occasional deaths could put a real strain on a relationship.

At the end of the date: 18% chance of a second date. 100% chance that he is technically old enough to be her grandpa.





Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation) and Walter Bishop (Fringe)

Common Ground: Walter shares Leslie’s appreciation of parks. They are both known to be a little out of touch with the rest of the world.

Possible Conflicts: Walter’s checkered past would be sure to complicate Leslie’s future presidential campaign. The age difference might be a bit troublesome, but if you were to just not count those years that Walter was in the mental institution then they almost catch up with each other.

At the end of the date: 41% chance of a second date. 23% likelihood of Walter convincing Leslie to take a homemade hallucinogen.





Kate Beckett (Castle) and Chuck Bartowksi (Chuck)

Common Ground: Both have high risk jobs where getting shot at is just part of a day’s work. They both will fight for what is right. Beckett might play it cool, but we all know that she is a giant dork deep down.

Possible Conflicts: Beckett is pretty well settled into her adult life while Chuck still has a bit of maturing to do. He’s not quite ready to break through Beckett’s emotional walls yet. (sidenote: how weird is it that their counterparts were paired with eachother in part 2?)

At the end of the date: 72% chance of a second date. 40% chance that Beckett will be sporting a mullet.






Bree Hodge (Desperate Housewives) and Benjamin Linus (Lost)

Common Ground: He’s a BAMF and she’s a HBIC. They share an appreciation for the finer things in life. Whenever possible, Ben is polite and well mannered. They are both used to people dying around them at disproportionate rates.

Possible Conflicts: You know what? No conflicts. I’ve just realized these two are perfect together. Plus there couple name could be Benree. Win win.

At the end of the date: 80% likely to get married and have a bunch of ginger babies. 32% chance of Widmore putting out a death order on at least one of these kids.

 

 


Joan Harris (Mad Men) and Bill Compton (True Blood)

Common Ground: They both have an ageless beauty. We know Joan has a thing for older men (we’re looking at you, Roger). Bill knows how to treat a woman with respect, unlike Joan’s asshole husband.

Possible Conflicts: Bill is cool and powerful and all, but there is no way he could handle a woman as fierce as Joan.

At the end of the date: 76% probability of a second date but only a 25% chance that Joan will understand a word Bill says.

Whatever, VMAs - True Blood and Mad Men are on.

First off, let's go ahead and thank True Blood and Mad Men for saving us from watching the VMAs and seeing this happen:

The second hand embarrassment is eating me alive - and I haven't even watched the video.  Now, moving on to more important matters.

Awwww, thanks guys! We'll be seeing you soon Fringe. But what we're really here to talk about, of course are True Blood and Mad Men!

True Blood ~Season Finale~

Here lie spoilers - so turn back now if you have watched yet!

We're going to go ahead and say it . . . this episode was kind of anticlimactic for a season finale. Anyone else? They got the Big Bad all taken care of within the 1st half hour . . .  and then . . . we all hung out for a while. Don't get us wrong - we loved many many things about the finale. The cliff hanger just isn't something that's going to have us chewing our fingernails in anticipation until next season. So, here we go with a breakdown of some of our highlights.

• 
  
  Oh Maryann. We love how ridiculous and over the top you are. We may have been a little sick of you at some points this season. But really, it's just that your orgies got a bit repetitive . . .  and your special effects are pretty lame for such a high budget show. Regardless, you were bat shit crazy and 100% fierce. You'll be missed. 
• 
  
  We are so glad that Lafayette got to be included in the wedding party. He looked lovely in his white dress. He also got to have one of our favorite lines of the night. "Worship him, bitches!"
• 
  
  Sam Merlotte got to be pretty hardcore with sneaky bull transformation. Anyone else find it a little strange that when he changed back to Sam form, the horn of the bull turned out to be his hand. How does that work exactly? I'm not up to date on my shape shifter biology.
• 
  
  We were so ready for Dionysus to show up 10 minutes later and be all, "Where's my sacrifice, bitches? Do I see a meat tree on the ground? What-up with the busted egg? Is that gross dead thing in a dress supposed to be my wife? See now, this is why I never show up to these things. They never live up to the hype." And then the Horned One scampers back in the forest. I'm actually pretty sure that's what happened.
• 
  
  Oh Jason and Andy. Please continue to think you saved the town. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Drink that Diet Coke with Lime, Andy! You earned it!
• 
  
  Oh yeah, and Eggs died. Totally fine with that. But seriously, Jason, why are still carrying a gun around? How was that not going to end badly? At least him and Andy get to continue being BFFs for life now.
• 
  
  Sam runs off in search of his birth parents, whom his adoptive mother tells him are no good, very bad people. This is coming from the a-holes who adopted Sam, but abandoned him the first time they saw his little tail wagging. I guess this means we'll get to see Sam have a storyline that doesn't revolve around pining over Sookie or being a sacrifice. So that should be nice for him.
• 
  
  Bill asks Sookie to fly away with him to Vermont to have a big gay vampire wedding. Oh but first they dance awkwardly to Country music in a French restaurant. What is going on here? Sookie is all like, "I don't know Beeeeeel", and he's all like, "I luhv you Suhkeh". Then she goes to the bathroom and he gets vampire-napped by someone with silver chains. Sookie runs back from the bathroom with the ring saying she'll marrying him, but no one is there to care. Frankly, we aren't that worried about Bill. He'll be fine. How do we know he'll be fine? Because he's the freaking male lead, and there are a whole of books to go still. We were much more concerned last year when we thought Lafayette was the one dead in the car.
• 
  
  Jessica is out on the town killing truckers, and it's all Hoyt's mamma's fault! We hope those crazy kids work it out.
• 
  
  Evan Rachel Wood is a big let down so far. We were so pumped for her to show up and be the big bad Lesbian Queen of Louisiana. So far the most exciting thing about her is her love of Yahtzee (which I genuinely do find very exciting). And her fangs are unusually large, right? Oh, and she's the one behind all of the V pushing Eric is having Lafayette do. So that's something.
• 
  
  Speaking of Eric, what was he doing all episode? Oh yeah:
  

• Also, next season needs more Pam. For realzies.

Mad Men:
Ok, AMC. Here's the thing. I know you say that we can log on to your website to get a longer look at the coming scenes for next week, but let's be honest - we're not going to do it. So how about you cut together a preview for the following week's episode that gives even a slight insight into what might happen?!? Because we seriously had no idea that any baby birthing was going down. We were actually going to save this for tonight to watch, because we weren't going to be starting it until after 11pm, but then we turned on the TV and it showed us Betty in the hospital . . . who for that brief moment in a certain light looked like someone with red hair, so we naturally started freaking out thinking that something had happened to Joan. Therefore we had to watch. It was soon apparent that it was Betty we saw, but we could have waited until tonight to see the littlest Draper be born. So, if AMC's "Next time on Mad Men"'s were a little less vague, I wouldn't be so tired right now. Ok, now about the actual show:

• It was great to finally get a little between Pete and Peggy. Thanks, Duck?
• Joan sitting at the table in the beginning was such a tease. This season needs more Joan. Like seriously. Let's get on that, guys. If the scenes for next week are to be remotely trusted (see above rant), we should see her at least briefly in the next episode.
• Betty's drugged up hallucinations during her delivery were all sorts of weird. When we saw the blood on the floor we were sure something was going to go wrong . . . but she and baby Eugene are fine.
• Really, Sally's teacher? Really. I'm sure we'll be seeing you again real soon.
• Oh Pete. I think you were just never socialized properly. He has no concept of how to normally interact with anyone. Ever. His conversation with the elevator operator was cringe worthy, but darnit, he has decent intentions deep down in there somewhere! He even pitched the concept of integrated ads, much to the horror of the execs at Admiral. That douche has a heart of gold! Well, maybe bronze. But the boy sure can dance.
• Sterling Cooper needs an American Revolution. Those Brits need to GTFO.

And for the record, this blog just took me 3 hours to complete. That's what I get for trying to blog at work!