TV Blind Dates ~ Part 3

The final installment of awkward random TV pairings.




Annie Edison (Community) and John Locke (Lost)

Common Ground: The both have a vulnerable side, a need for approval, and obsessive tendencies. Also, I’m just guessing about Annie, but I think it’s safe to bet that they are both rocking some Daddy issues.

Possible Conflicts: The age difference is staggering, and a little gross. Plus Locke’s occasional deaths could put a real strain on a relationship.

At the end of the date: 18% chance of a second date. 100% chance that he is technically old enough to be her grandpa.





Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation) and Walter Bishop (Fringe)

Common Ground: Walter shares Leslie’s appreciation of parks. They are both known to be a little out of touch with the rest of the world.

Possible Conflicts: Walter’s checkered past would be sure to complicate Leslie’s future presidential campaign. The age difference might be a bit troublesome, but if you were to just not count those years that Walter was in the mental institution then they almost catch up with each other.

At the end of the date: 41% chance of a second date. 23% likelihood of Walter convincing Leslie to take a homemade hallucinogen.





Kate Beckett (Castle) and Chuck Bartowksi (Chuck)

Common Ground: Both have high risk jobs where getting shot at is just part of a day’s work. They both will fight for what is right. Beckett might play it cool, but we all know that she is a giant dork deep down.

Possible Conflicts: Beckett is pretty well settled into her adult life while Chuck still has a bit of maturing to do. He’s not quite ready to break through Beckett’s emotional walls yet. (sidenote: how weird is it that their counterparts were paired with eachother in part 2?)

At the end of the date: 72% chance of a second date. 40% chance that Beckett will be sporting a mullet.






Bree Hodge (Desperate Housewives) and Benjamin Linus (Lost)

Common Ground: He’s a BAMF and she’s a HBIC. They share an appreciation for the finer things in life. Whenever possible, Ben is polite and well mannered. They are both used to people dying around them at disproportionate rates.

Possible Conflicts: You know what? No conflicts. I’ve just realized these two are perfect together. Plus there couple name could be Benree. Win win.

At the end of the date: 80% likely to get married and have a bunch of ginger babies. 32% chance of Widmore putting out a death order on at least one of these kids.

 

 


Joan Harris (Mad Men) and Bill Compton (True Blood)

Common Ground: They both have an ageless beauty. We know Joan has a thing for older men (we’re looking at you, Roger). Bill knows how to treat a woman with respect, unlike Joan’s asshole husband.

Possible Conflicts: Bill is cool and powerful and all, but there is no way he could handle a woman as fierce as Joan.

At the end of the date: 76% probability of a second date but only a 25% chance that Joan will understand a word Bill says.

TV Blind Dates ~ Part 2

Here is the second installment of randomly matched TV pairings. See Part 1 for more details and the first five match-ups.




Echo (Dollhouse) and Michael Scott (The Office)

Common Ground: Somewhere amongst all of those personalities floating around in Echo’s head there has to be someone with mad managerial skills and at least a passing knowledge of paper products. At varying points in her doll evolution Echo has had qualities that Michael would be sure to like: hard and domineering (like Jan), a playful dork (like Holly), and childlike wonder (like . . . himself?).

Possible Conflicts: Echo’s personality changes so often that’s impossible to keep track of her likes and dislikes, which I’m sure would be challenging in a relationship. Plus Echo is much too focused on her mission – no time for dating. Not to mention the fact that at any moment she could glitch and start kicking the crap out of Michael.

At the end of the date: 90% probability that Michael will think they are going steady, but only a 3% chance that they were ever see each other again.





Liz Lemon (30 Rock) and Dexter Morgan (Dexter)

Common Ground: Both of their jobs (plus Dexter’s dark passenger) require long hours and a lot of night work. Honestly, that’s about all I’ve got for these two!

Possible Conflicts: Despite having no similar interests Liz would be thrilled to be dating a handsome guy like Dexter who doesn’t mind her devotion to her job, and Dexter would appreciate the free time to take care of other priorities. Eventually, though, Liz would stumble upon his little secret and there would be no amount of “nerts!” or “sharkfarts!” that could save her.

At the end of the date: 72% chance of a second date. Likelihood that Dexter wouldn’t be the first serial killer Liz has dated: 35%.





Wilhelmina Slater (Ugly Betty) and Jeff Winger (Community)

Common Ground: Both are natural leaders. They are charismatic (when necessary) and attractive. They set trends and can be very persuasive.

Possible Conflicts: If Jeff was still a fast talking lawyer, he might have had a brief shot with Wilhelmina, but as a community school student? Please – she wouldn’t look at him twice. His lack of money, power, and ambition would be an insult to her.

At the end of the date: If someone managed to trick Wilhelmina into the date and forced her to stay, than there’s a 60% chance of a one night stand, which would be followed by a swift cover-up.





Sarah Walker (Chuck) and Richard Castle (Castle)

Common Ground: Both are worldly and well traveled. They would be worthy fencing opponents. They both thinking well on their feet in high pressure situations.

Possible Conflicts: Regardless of whether Sarah is there undercover protecting him or there as her genuine self, her presence would inevitably turn out to be only temporary. She serves her country first and herself last. At this point in Castle’s life I like to think he’s moved past the casual flings he’s most known for – he has to think about Alexis, after all.

At the end of the date: 28% chance of a second date. 100% chance that Sarah is hiding a knife somewhere you wouldn’t expect.





Betty Suarez (Ugly Betty) and Don Draper (Mad Men)

Common Ground: They both work in New York City in high pressure jobs. Both of their jobs are affected by public opinion in one way or another. Don would appreciate Betty’s pluck and determination. Betty is an excellent listener, which is something Don could certainly use if he was willing to open up to her.

Possible Conflicts: The age difference wouldn’t mean a thing to Don (he’s had younger), but it would probably be weird for Betty. Also, Betty wouldn’t stand for all of that cheating – and you can’t ask Don to change.

At the end of the date: Only 11% likely to have a second date, but there’s a 79% chance that Don will offer Betty a job because he likes her spunk.

Mad Men Finale!

After a shamefully long hiatus from the world of blogging, we are finally back! What better to herald this return than the season finale of Mad Men? Off we go!

(how much awesomeness can one room handle?)

Mad Men sure loves it some slow builds, and this season demonstrated that more than ever. These last few episodes really made it worth the wait. Betty not only found out about Don’s past, but has even gone as far to demand a divorce so she can run off and start a new life with Mr. Creeper McCreep aka Henry Francis. After a year of stifling under the Brits’ control, only to have Sterling Cooper sold again to McCann, Don stages a mutiny and convinces Pryce to fire him, Roger, and Cooper so that they can start their own Agency. Pryce is joining the new agency bandwagon, and Peggy, Pete, and Harry also get super secret invites. Poor Kinsey. Also called in to help get the organized and steal what they can before sneaking out was JOAN!!!! Damn right. We knew she was coming all episode, but it didn’t make her or her sassy pants any less exciting. We’re looking forward to next season when Sal gets to join the party, because you KNOW they need and art department and we need us some Sal.

Oh and REALLY, Betty? You just left Sally and Bobby with Carla for 6 weeks right before Christmas? Really? Just checking.

Side note: I know we’re supposed to be all about Pete and Peggy in the long run . . . but damn I’m loving Pete and Trudy together right now.

And now, what we’ve all been waiting for:

GIFS!!!!!


Happy Christmas!


Hells Bells!


(a little dark, I know)


By the end of next season they will all work for Joan.


hehe, it says "fart" department.


Oh good - I was worried Pete might have forgotten his gun. It's all good.

Thanks Mad Men, it's been a blast of a season. And now, just for fun - a few more GIFS to take us out:

Quickies - Amazing Race, Mad Men, DH, HIMYM, Castle

Here's a quick sampling platter of our recent TV veiwing:

Amazing Race

Dammit Keri! Headed home this week were Lance and Keri. Thank god. They had gotten to the point of annoyance where I couldn’t even be amused by them any more. Ok, I laughed a little (maybe a lot) at the fact that they spent 90% of their time driving the wrong way up and down the highway. But then they were all too quick to remind us of why we hated them so much when Lance finished the water finding challenge and practically threw their stuff at the local clue giver while saying ''Have a spoon, have a ladle, have a nice life'' in a way that made my skin crawl. Peace out.

Side note to Ericka and Brian: you two are the only ones who care that you are an interracial couple. Enough with the “Ebony and Ivory” business!


Mad Men

Betty found Don’s box of super secrets. Not they best hiding spot in the world, Don – and a little careless with the keys! She sat up all night with the box ready to confront him about it, but he was too busy doing Sally’s former teacher. So she simply put the box away and pretended like nothing happened. That can’t be good. We don’t even know how she processed the information. There’s the divorce certificate from the real Don Draper’s wife and the deed to that house – so she’s pretty sure that he was married before and never told her. But what about all of the pictures of him labeled Dick?!?!?! Could she possibly be able to put that together too? Only time will tell.

Props to Sally for delivering a great “Geez Louise” to some of Betty’s awesome parenting, and to Paul Kinsey for kind of realizing that Peggy is advertising magic.

Desperate Housewives

Oh Julie, we called that you were sleeping with the Bolen dad on the first episode – I mean, you DO like your older men. When Susan find her diary and she only referred to her lover as “D.” we were like, “What the hell is the Bolen guy’s first name? The son is Danny, but it can’t be him . . .” and then when his wife called him “Nick” we were like, “So the ‘D’ is for . . . Dad . . . . Bolen?” It wasn’t until the shocking  entirely predictable ending that he showed up to her hospital bed and called himself “Dominic” that we knew it was him for sure. Whatever, I’m calling him “Dad Bolen” from now on.

Also in this episode, Katherine done gone crazy and Lynette’s pregnancy boobs are out of control!


How I Met Your Mother

Robin is in danger of getting deported because she hurt someone with a chair at the Hoser Hutt, so Barney helps her cram for an American citizenship exam. This goes pretty well until she ends up back at the Canadian bar that night and finds herself in Toronto in the morning. Despite Barney’s attempts to Americanize her, she is still a Canadian at heart. Sadly, she finds that she isn’t the same Canadian girl she used to be when a woman at Tim Horton’s mistakes her for an American when she doesn’t say please or thank you and didn’t watch the last night’s game. Alas she is a woman without a Country. Barney yells at Canada for being stupid enough to let women like Robin leave, and then gets the crap beaten out of him by a bunch of burley Canadian men (and possible children, and Robin a little).

Meanwhile Ted and Marshall embark upon a road trip like to used to in College. One snag – Lilly. She’s coming along to put a damper on their fun. There were some excellent moments over into his plot line as well, including the results of too much Tantrum, Kenny Roger’s narration of “Goodbye, Sparky”, and a flashback to the Fiero in full “And I would walk 500 miles” glory.

Top Quotes:

“There's kids playing hockey on the back. It's like you want us to make fun of you!” - Barney about Canada’s $5 bill.

“How do you know the Canadian citizenship test is easy?” – Robin
“It's Canada. Question one, do you want to be Canadian? Question two, really?” – Barney

“We were like Lewis and Clark, if Lewis and Clark peed in water bottles and had a bong made out of a cantaloupe.” – Ted

Castle

Just read that ABC picked it up for a full season! Woo hoo! Much like Becket and Castle learned that they were going to be stuck with eachother for a while in this weeks episode, we can rest assured that we have at least one more full season of Nathan Fillion on our TV. We realized watching this week’s episode that one of the reasons that they are so amusing together is that they are both so completely lacking in subtlety. They are blunt and emotional and competitive, and we love that. Keep on keeping on, Castle! Also, we are pretty sure that next week Castle dresses up like Captain Reynolds for Halloween (or at least it looked a lot like that in the quick preview). Nice. Then again, the promo pictures show him in a different outfit, so maybe out imaginations are just getting away from us. I prefer the first option.

And because I have no GIFs particularly relevant to any of these episodes yet, let's just take a moment to be excited for Wednesday night's shows, including Glee and Modern Family!

Mad Men - Hells Bells, Pete

Mad Men


We were horrible people and didn’t get around to blogging about Mad Men last week. So to review, last week Betty bought herself a swooning couch, Don got himself beaten up by a couple of drug toting, sex loving drifter kids, and Peggy deliberately ignored our screams through the TV and slept with Duck. Ewwwww. Eww. Ew.

This week we were completely lacking Peggy, so I am led to believe that she is still stranded in Duck’s bedroom, surrounded by turtle necks and Hermes scarves.

Pete’s story line was uber creepy, so we’re just going to get it over with. He basically raped the German Au Pair next door. But first he was kind enough to replace a dress of her employer’s which the girl had accidentally stained. He went to the designer store and asked to speak to a manager, and I immediately yelled out “JOAN!” before she even made it onto the screen. So that’s where she’s been hiding. She’ll find her way back to Sterling Cooper eventually, I’m sure – especially now that Pete knows she is there. So yes, fast forwarding creepy Pete and the Au Pair, Hells-Bells-Trudy comes come from vacationing with her parents, and things are weird for a little bit. She basically knows that he cheated on her, but neither have said anything about it. He tells her that he doesn’t want her going away without him anymore.

Over in the Draper household, Betty’s friendly pregnant-belly-touching-man-friend-with-authority gets the reservoir put on hold for her, and kisses her in her car. She is not phased, because she’s gotten what she wanted.

Connie Hilton has been sending Don all over the place visiting his hotels, and this week he’s being sent to Rome for a couple of days. Betty decides that this is a perfectly good excuse to abandon her children with Carla and head off of their European second honeymoon. Poor Carla. Doesn’t she have a family to get home to? Anyway, Rome is good to Betty – she gets her hair did up something fierce (and a little frightening), and she and Don play a game of “hey stranger” before have some fierce Don Draper affair-worthy sex. Also, Betty speaks surprisingly good Italian.

I’m torn on what my favorite part of this picture is – Betty hair, Don's GQ MotherF-iness, or the dude on the Vespa in the background.

Back at home, Sally’s temper is out of control again, and I genuinely thought she was going to kill Bobby for a second there. (Sally kissed Cut-throat’s son, and Bobby was teasing her about it). When Betty and Don get home, Betty has a chat about first kisses with her which included “You don’t kiss boys, boys kiss you” (didn’t we all agree that Sally was a little lesbian?) and then something about having a lot of first kisses, which gave of the distinct feeling that she was telling her daughter to be a slut – but at least to not be the slut making the first move.

And finally, post Rome Betty is rocking the multicolored 60’s ensembles now. Work.

Whatever, VMAs - True Blood and Mad Men are on.

First off, let's go ahead and thank True Blood and Mad Men for saving us from watching the VMAs and seeing this happen:

The second hand embarrassment is eating me alive - and I haven't even watched the video.  Now, moving on to more important matters.

Awwww, thanks guys! We'll be seeing you soon Fringe. But what we're really here to talk about, of course are True Blood and Mad Men!

True Blood ~Season Finale~

Here lie spoilers - so turn back now if you have watched yet!

We're going to go ahead and say it . . . this episode was kind of anticlimactic for a season finale. Anyone else? They got the Big Bad all taken care of within the 1st half hour . . .  and then . . . we all hung out for a while. Don't get us wrong - we loved many many things about the finale. The cliff hanger just isn't something that's going to have us chewing our fingernails in anticipation until next season. So, here we go with a breakdown of some of our highlights.

• 
  
  Oh Maryann. We love how ridiculous and over the top you are. We may have been a little sick of you at some points this season. But really, it's just that your orgies got a bit repetitive . . .  and your special effects are pretty lame for such a high budget show. Regardless, you were bat shit crazy and 100% fierce. You'll be missed. 
• 
  
  We are so glad that Lafayette got to be included in the wedding party. He looked lovely in his white dress. He also got to have one of our favorite lines of the night. "Worship him, bitches!"
• 
  
  Sam Merlotte got to be pretty hardcore with sneaky bull transformation. Anyone else find it a little strange that when he changed back to Sam form, the horn of the bull turned out to be his hand. How does that work exactly? I'm not up to date on my shape shifter biology.
• 
  
  We were so ready for Dionysus to show up 10 minutes later and be all, "Where's my sacrifice, bitches? Do I see a meat tree on the ground? What-up with the busted egg? Is that gross dead thing in a dress supposed to be my wife? See now, this is why I never show up to these things. They never live up to the hype." And then the Horned One scampers back in the forest. I'm actually pretty sure that's what happened.
• 
  
  Oh Jason and Andy. Please continue to think you saved the town. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Drink that Diet Coke with Lime, Andy! You earned it!
• 
  
  Oh yeah, and Eggs died. Totally fine with that. But seriously, Jason, why are still carrying a gun around? How was that not going to end badly? At least him and Andy get to continue being BFFs for life now.
• 
  
  Sam runs off in search of his birth parents, whom his adoptive mother tells him are no good, very bad people. This is coming from the a-holes who adopted Sam, but abandoned him the first time they saw his little tail wagging. I guess this means we'll get to see Sam have a storyline that doesn't revolve around pining over Sookie or being a sacrifice. So that should be nice for him.
• 
  
  Bill asks Sookie to fly away with him to Vermont to have a big gay vampire wedding. Oh but first they dance awkwardly to Country music in a French restaurant. What is going on here? Sookie is all like, "I don't know Beeeeeel", and he's all like, "I luhv you Suhkeh". Then she goes to the bathroom and he gets vampire-napped by someone with silver chains. Sookie runs back from the bathroom with the ring saying she'll marrying him, but no one is there to care. Frankly, we aren't that worried about Bill. He'll be fine. How do we know he'll be fine? Because he's the freaking male lead, and there are a whole of books to go still. We were much more concerned last year when we thought Lafayette was the one dead in the car.
• 
  
  Jessica is out on the town killing truckers, and it's all Hoyt's mamma's fault! We hope those crazy kids work it out.
• 
  
  Evan Rachel Wood is a big let down so far. We were so pumped for her to show up and be the big bad Lesbian Queen of Louisiana. So far the most exciting thing about her is her love of Yahtzee (which I genuinely do find very exciting). And her fangs are unusually large, right? Oh, and she's the one behind all of the V pushing Eric is having Lafayette do. So that's something.
• 
  
  Speaking of Eric, what was he doing all episode? Oh yeah:
  

• Also, next season needs more Pam. For realzies.

Mad Men:
Ok, AMC. Here's the thing. I know you say that we can log on to your website to get a longer look at the coming scenes for next week, but let's be honest - we're not going to do it. So how about you cut together a preview for the following week's episode that gives even a slight insight into what might happen?!? Because we seriously had no idea that any baby birthing was going down. We were actually going to save this for tonight to watch, because we weren't going to be starting it until after 11pm, but then we turned on the TV and it showed us Betty in the hospital . . . who for that brief moment in a certain light looked like someone with red hair, so we naturally started freaking out thinking that something had happened to Joan. Therefore we had to watch. It was soon apparent that it was Betty we saw, but we could have waited until tonight to see the littlest Draper be born. So, if AMC's "Next time on Mad Men"'s were a little less vague, I wouldn't be so tired right now. Ok, now about the actual show:

• It was great to finally get a little between Pete and Peggy. Thanks, Duck?
• Joan sitting at the table in the beginning was such a tease. This season needs more Joan. Like seriously. Let's get on that, guys. If the scenes for next week are to be remotely trusted (see above rant), we should see her at least briefly in the next episode.
• Betty's drugged up hallucinations during her delivery were all sorts of weird. When we saw the blood on the floor we were sure something was going to go wrong . . . but she and baby Eugene are fine.
• Really, Sally's teacher? Really. I'm sure we'll be seeing you again real soon.
• Oh Pete. I think you were just never socialized properly. He has no concept of how to normally interact with anyone. Ever. His conversation with the elevator operator was cringe worthy, but darnit, he has decent intentions deep down in there somewhere! He even pitched the concept of integrated ads, much to the horror of the execs at Admiral. That douche has a heart of gold! Well, maybe bronze. But the boy sure can dance.
• Sterling Cooper needs an American Revolution. Those Brits need to GTFO.

And for the record, this blog just took me 3 hours to complete. That's what I get for trying to blog at work!