Lost ~ Dr. Linus

Hot damn, was that a great episode or what? Maybe we’re biased because we are so partial to Ben, but if Michael Emerson isn’t nominated/awarded an Emmy for this episode it will be a crime. The Sideways-verse was particularly interesting this episode, not only as a character study of Sideways Ben, but also for its direct references to the Dharma Initiative and the Island. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, go grab yourself a microwave dinner (careful, it’s hot!) and settle in for an awesome episode. If you’re all caught up you’d better ditch that grave-digging stick and hurry on down to the rest of this blog!

The Sideways-verse: Where European History just got real sexy

Sideways Ben is teaching his students about an island where everything became clear: Elba, where Napoleon was exiled to and faced his greatest test – his loss of power. So many correlations can be drawn to the original timeline right off the bat – Ben’s exile (when he turned the frozen donkey wheel), his loss of power when usurped by Locke as leader of the others, and also Widmore’s exile from the island (which was, of course, caused by Ben). At the end of the class Principal Reynolds comes in and asks to speak to Ben. Reynolds says he needs Ben to cover detention all week. But what about the History Club which meets after school? Those kids need him! Reynolds basically tells him to suck it – or, you know, that the school is short on money and resources and no one really cares about his club. He thanks “Linus” as he leaves. Hey, that’s “Dr. Linus”, thank you very much.

In the teacher’s lounge Dr. Leslie Arzt (I totally called that he would work there!) is trying to wipe away a formaldehyde stain and complains about the lack of aprons and outdated equipment. This was retrospectively hilarious when Hurley later referenced how they spent days whipping Arzt off their shirts (in Exodus, Part 2). Ben says that Principal Reynolds is an administrator, not a teacher – that he doesn’t care about the kids. Ben refuses to give up on his principles. The substitute, aka Locke, suggests that Ben should be principal.

Ben: What do you mean, I should be the principal?
Locke: It just sounds like you care about this place and if the man in charge doesn't, then maybe it's time for a change.
Ben: I appreciate the sentiment, but who's going to listen to me?
Locke: I'm listening.

Later that evening Ben microwaves a turkey dinner at home. Check out this week’s reflection! We almost missed it entirely.

The dinner is for his father, Roger Linus. Say what? Roger, who is hooked up to an oxygen tank, talks about how he had wanted more for Ben. That was why he signed up for the Dharma Initiative and brought them to the island. He says that they were smart people, and seems to remember the time on the island more fondly than we know he should should.

“Imagine how our lives would have been if we'd stayed... Who knows what you would have become.” ~ Roger

Well, we all know the answer to that. Methinks Roger would prefer the way things worked out in the Sideways timeline if he had to choose. The door bell rings and Ben greets Alex Rousseau (hey girl!), who wants to know why Ben wasn’t at History Club. She is disappointed because she was hoping he would help her prepare for a big test. He offers to help her study the next morning before school in the library. Their relationship is so warm and friendly that it makes me at little sad Alex was never this close to him in the original timeline.

In the library Ben quizzes Alex on The East India Trading Company. When she can’t answer a question she momentarily flips out and says that it isn’t “just a test.” He mother has sacrificed so much for her, working two jobs, and without a scholarship she’ll never be able to afford to go to a good college, let alone Yale. Ben reassures her by saying that she is one of the brightest students he has ever know and he doesn’t worry about her future at all. He offers to write her a letter of recommendation, but she says that the only recommendation that matters is from a Yale alum, which is why she’s already asked “that pervert” Principal Reynolds to write one for her. Whoa, wait a sec. Ben asks her what she means by “pervert” and worries that he’s done something to her. She says that it’s nothing like that, but asks him to keep this a secret. She tells him that one day when she fell asleep in the nurses office she work up to hear Reynolds and the nurse doing it in the room next to her. Totally disgusting, right?

Later that day Ben goes to Arzt and asks if he can hack into faculty email accounts. He reveals that he thinks Reynolds might be having inappropriate relations with the nurse on school grounds. Arzt realizes that Ben is making a play for power. He’s impressed that Ben is going through with it, and he negotiates that if Ben becomes principal Arzt gets a better parking spot, lab aprons, and equipment from this decade. Ben agrees.

“You had me fooled with the sweater vest. You are a killer.” ~ Arzt

Ben confronts Reynolds with three months worth of emails proving he has been having an affair with the nurse on school grounds. He threatens to show these to the school board and Reynolds’ wife unless he resigns and recommends Ben for his replacement. It’s a bold move, not unlike the one that Ben pulled on Widmore in the original timeline, which resulted in Widmore’s exile and (way further down the road) Alex’s death. Reynolds responds by showing Ben an email from Alex requesting a letter of recommendation for college. He says that if Ben follows through on his threat he will “torch” her in his recommendation. He wonders which is more important to Ben – Alex’s future or his own power?

On another day we find Ben alone in the Principal’s office, and we think for a moment that he might actually have gone through with it. After all, he did sacrifice Alex’s life in the other timeline – would it be any different here? Alex comes into the office and is surprised to find Ben there. She just wanted to thank Principal Reynolds for the great recommendation and wonders if Ben had anything to do with it. Ben denies any influence over the letter. When Reynolds comes into the office Ben says he was just dropping off the detention sign-up sheet as he asked. Not to come out of this completely powerless Ben affirms to Alex that they have the History Club back because Reynolds has found someone else to cover detentions.

Arzt is upset because he isn’t getting his new equipment or parking space. Ben offers him his space. He watches Alex leave the Principal’s office. Was her happiness worth his sacrifice? Absolutely.

Original Timeline: Don’t piss off Ilana

Ben frantically runs through the jungle away from the temple massacre. He trips and falls along the way, but eventually manages to catch up with Ilana, Frank, Miles, and Sun. They ask him where Sayid was and Ben tells them that he killed Dogen and Lennon, so he doesn’t think Sayid will be joining them. Ben suggests that they head to the beach camp where they can have their backs to the water and its familiar territory (um, it’s familiar for Sun, and maybe Ben a little, but that’s pretty much it). Ilana agrees and they head back in that direction. A little while later Miles asks Ben what that thing was that attacked the temple. He says it’s the same thing that killed the men at the statue. Ilana interjects that it killed Jacob too, right? Yeah, of course, Jacob too. Ilana is reasonably suspicious. She hands Miles the bag containing Jacob’s ashes and tells him to find out how Jacob was killed.

Miles confirms Ilana’s suspicions and says that Ben killed Jacob. Ben tries to deny this, and says Miles is lying or mistaken, but he isn’t even remotely believable. What happened to the smooth talking easy liar Ben used to be? Ilana says that Jacob was the closest thing she ever had to a father. Bitch is pissed. She turns her back on Ben and keeps walking.

When they arrive at what is left of the beach camp Ilana sets them all to work on food, shelter, tools, etc. Ben tries again to convince her of his innocence, saying that Miles once tried to blackmail Ben. She ignores him. Sun asks Ilana how long they are planning to stay at the beach, because she needs to find her husband (yeah, Sun, we know). Ilana says she wants to find Jin too. She explains that she needs to protect the candidates and since both Sun and Jin’s last names are Kwon she doesn’t know which one she is supposed to protect. She tells Sun that one of the candidates will take over Jacob’s duties, which will become known to the candidate that is chosen. She says there are only 6 candidates left.

Ben starts searching Sawyer’s old tent and comes across porn, a couple of books, and a bottle of Oceanic water. He tells Frank, rather nostalgically, that he remembers he plane breaking in half like it was yesterday. Frank tells Ben that he was supposed to be the pilot of that flight, but he overslept. He wonders how different his life would have been if he had woken up on time, but Ben points out that the island got him in the end. Just when we were getting out hopes up that Ben and Frank can be new BFFs, Ilana comes along and ruins everything.

She leads Ben by gun point out to the graveyard. She throws him to the ground and chains him to a tree with a makeshift shackle. She orders him to pick up the shovel-like instrument and start digging his own grave. A while later Miles wanders by and offers Ben some food. Ben doesn’t have much of an appetite since he’s about to be executed. He tries to bribe Miles into releasing him, saying that he can get them off the island and pay Miles the 3.2 million dollars he once tried to blackmail him for. Miles dismissed Ben’s offer, saying there is 8 million dollars worth of diamonds in Nikki and Paulo’s grave. Does he know this because Sawyer told him, or because Nikki’s and Paulo’s voices spoke to him? Either way, we later see Miles with a diamond, so does that mean he actually dug up the grave? Gross. Ben says that Jacob didn’t even care if he lived. Miles sets him straight.

“Right up until the second the knife went through his heart Jacob was hoping he was wrong about you. I guess he was right.” ~ Miles

Ilana fires a warning shot and Miles scurries away. Later MIB shows up, standing just out of Ilana’s sight, and tells Ben that he went back to the statue to get him but he had already gone. He tells Ben that he is leading people to the Hydra station. He says they are leaving the island and he wants to leave Ben in charge. He says he has left a gun for Ben 200 yards away in the jungle. MIB disappears.

Ben takes a look at Ilana, their eyes meet, and he makes a run for it. He reaches the gun in the jungle and gets the jump on her. She drops her gun and braces herself for Ben’s shot. He doesn’t shoot her, however. He apologizes. He wants to explain that he knows what she is going through, and that he wishes he hadn’t killed Jacob.

“I watched my daughter Alex die in front of me and it was my fault. I had a chance to save her. I chose the Island over her. All in the name of Jacob. I sacrificed everything for him, and he didn't even care. I stabbed him. I was so angry. Confused. I was terrified I was about to lose the only thing that ever happened to me, my power. But the thing that really mattered was already gone. ...I can never forgive myself.” ~ Ben

He doesn’t ask for her forgiveness, he just asks that she let him leave.

Ilana: Where will you go?
Ben: To Locke.
Ilana: Why?
Ben: Because he is the only one who will have me.

How could your heart not break for Ben at that moment? Ilana says that she will have him. I know large group of people at ONTD_Lost who will also have you, Ben. No worries. He goes with her back to the beach and gives Sun a hand adjusting a tarp on a shelter. A slow-mo reunion takes place a few moments later. More on that in the next bit.


Chillin’ at the Black Rock

Hurley is napping in a field, dreaming of either cheese curds or cheese carrots depending on whether you believe our closed captions or our ears. Either way, there’s cheese involved. He tries to make Jack take his sweet time returning to the temple, since Jacob warned him that someone bad was on their way there. He tries to lead him down a different path that will further extend their travel time. Richard pops up, much less frantic than last time. Jack asks where Richard came from, but Richard says he wouldn’t believe him if he told him (tell me, tell me, I’ll believe!). He says Jack and Hurley are both wrong about which direction they should head and to follow him. While the walk through the jungle Hurley asks how it was possible that he hasn’t aged in 30 years. Is he a vampire? A cyborg? Richard says it is hard to explain, but it boils down to that Jacob gave him a gift. Here’s the thing – Hurley never met Richard in the ‘70s, so Jack must have brought that up while we were hanging out in the Sideways-verse or something.

Soon they arrive at their destination, which turns out to be The Black Rock, not the temple. Richard admits that he misled them because everyone at the temple was dead. There were no survivors. He said Kate, Sayid, and Miles were not there, maybe they escaped earlier. Jack asks if Hurley knew about this and he says Jacob might have hinted at it. Richard is very surprised to learn Hurley has spoken with Jacob. He tells Hurley not to believe anything Jacob says. Richard heads off towards the ship saying there is something he needs to do: die.

Inside the ship Richard touches some chains (his chains?) and says that in all the time he has been on the island this is the first time he has ever returned to the ship. Richard starts playing around with the dynamite despite Hurley’s Arzt inspired warnings. Richard explains that he can’t kill himself (he drops a stick of the unstable dynamite as proof). That’s why he needs their help. He has attached a fuse to the dynamite long enough for Jack and Hurley to escape to a safe distance. He just needs one of them to light it. He tells them that he has spent all of his life, which trust him has been a VERY long time, in the service of a man with a plan. Jacob promised to one day reveal the plan to him, but he never did. Now Jacob is dead and Richard has realized that his long long long life has had no purpose. Hurley wants to leave, but Jack lights the dynamite. After trying and failing to get Jack to run with him, Hurley heads off into the jungle. Jack, however, isn’t going anywhere. He has a theory that the dynamite won’t go off. He tells Richard about the lighthouse and how he had seen his childhood home in the mirror. He says that is Jacobs had gone through so much to bring him and Richard to the island it had to be for a reason, and the reason wasn’t to be blown up. Jack calmly closes his eyes while a panicking Richard watches the fuse.

It flickers out just before reaching the dynamite. Jack Shepard, man of Faith. Who knew? Jack says they could try another stick if Richard wanted. Instead they agree to head to the beach camp.

When they arrive at the beach camp there is an old school, music swelling, beach reunion. Sun hurries over to hug Hurley. Everyone greets each other, except poor Ben who stands a million miles away. Someone hug him! I’m looking at you, Richard. This scene was strikingly similar to the beach reunion at the end of the season 3 episode “One of Us” where Jack, Kate, and Sayid returned from New Otherton bringing Juliet along for the ride.


Dramatic Cliffhanger

During the reunion our eyes were suddenly assaulted by some horrible CGI (why does Lost fail so hard at CGI?) of a submarine moving parallel to the beach. A man looks at the group on the beach and asks if they should stop. Widmore (whose appearance would have been much more dramatic if we hadn’t seen his name in the opening credits) says no. They should proceed as planned.

Eastereggs, Sidenotes, and Questions

• Ilana says there are only 6 candidates left. Was she counting Locke (which she shouldn’t), or was she counting both Sun and Jin? Or is there yet another candidate that we don’t know about? Her numbers aren’t matching up.

• The book in Sawyer’s tent that Ben reaches over to grab the water was The Chosen by Chiam Potok.

• Why did Roger and Ben leave the island? Was little Ben still shot in this timeline? Was Roger still and drunk abusive horrible father? I’m still proceeding with the theory that everything was the same in both timelines up to the point when Juliet detonated the bomb. So why does Roger look back so fondly about the island? He was pretty pissed at the Dharma Initiative and life in general last time we saw him in 1977.

• Is Widmore the person Hurley was supposed to help find the island? That would mean he is team Jacob. I was pretty confident that Widmore was team MIB based on his insistence that Locke needed to return the island for the sake of the coming war. Is he on his way to join Team MIB at the hydra station? Is he actually just team Widmore, and he only cares about the island for himself? If he isn’t the person Jacob told Hurley about, is there someone else on their way still?

• Are we getting close to the outrigger shoot out seen last season (The Little Prince)? If so, will we found out who is on the other boat? Juliet shot one of these. Is it one of our people?

PS: This was the blog’s 100th post!

Chuck versus The Beard

First of all, congratulations to Zachary Levi on his directorial debut. Not only was it a fun episode, but it was also a major game changer. We got a Buy More Revolution, Jeffster, the complete cast (practically unheard of this season), panicky Awesome, a Chuck loves Sarah declaration, a cliff hanger with the promise of a Casey-centric episode next week, and most importantly the big reveal to Morgan.

This week the A-plot and B-plot were so intertwined it’s almost impossible to separate them. So here’s the overall jist of what went down on all fronts.

Chuck hasn’t flashed in over a week so he’s being benched until the intersect starts working again. Here’s the problem, he has a lot of emotional stuff he is trying to work through right now, but he can’t talk to anyone. Sarah says that he can talk to them, but he says that he can’t (because, duh, she is like 90% of what he’s struggling with). Awesome is no help because he is a nervous wreck carrying around Chuck’s secret. It’s putting a serious stain on his and Ellie’s marriage, so he tells Chuck to keep him out of the spy stuff – he doesn’t want to know anything. The person he wants to talk to the most is Morgan, but of course he can’t. Morgan is incredibly frustrated at Chuck because he knows something is wrong and he’s hurt that Chuck won’t confide in him. Chuck actually comes very close to revealing his spy identity but Morgan fires him first. No, not from the Buy More, but fires him as his best friend.

In the meantime, Sarah, Shaw, and Casey have all gone off on a mission without Chuck (since he’s malfunctioning and all).

“I'm not a machine! Okay I am a machine, but I'm also a person.” ~ Chuck

They go to a hotel where they intercept a transmission from the ring identifying a target. They rush down to the pool to find someone who fits the “6’ 2” wearing a blue and white bathing suit” description and they discover Awesome! He and Ellie are having a little get away, and Awesome is none-too pleased when he is pulled aside by Sarah and Shaw and told that he might be in danger. However, when Casey broke into the room where the transmission was generated he discovered it was prerecorded, meaning Awesome’s presence was just a coincidence. It turns out that the entire operation was a decoy to lure them away from Castle. Awesome is still shaken and wants to get as far away from the py world as possible. At the end of the episode he suggests to Ellie that they should get away – far away. He says they should join Doctor’s Without Borders and go to Africa (and you know, to other places with borders that they can be without). Don’t go, guys!

Now, back to the meat of the episode. Big Mike received a call saying that The Buy More might be sold. There is a group of men lead by Diedrich Bader inspecting the store and interviewing the staff. Everyone tells them that Chuck is the store’s best man. They ask Chuck why he works there – he is way over qualified (they bring up his Stanford degree 3 times, just in case you forgot that Sarah got that for him last season). Chuck says that he likes being able to work with his best friend, Morgan. He says that Morgan is the right man for the assistant manager job. Immediately after this it is revealed that Diedrich Bader and crew are working for The Ring (if this shocked you I am deeply disappointed in you as a viewer). Now that they know that Shaw is alive, they need to track down his base of operations and destroy all of his files on The Ring (way to go, Shaw). They have tracked it to the Buy More and identified Chuck as Agent Carmichael.

Meanwhile, the Buy More folks are all freaking out because they think they are going to lose their jobs. Lester bugged the interview room just in time to hear the Ring agents say to keep Chuck and Morgan since they are valuable, but to terminate the rest. The Buy More crew isn’t going to take this lying down.

“These corporate fat cats think they can take whatever they want. They may take our dignity. They can take all the hot women. But they will NOT take our jobs. And they will never take our store!” ~ Big Mike

They stage a full blown revolution, barricading themselves in the store, armed with nerf guns, and waving the Buymoria flag. This is topped off with an epic montage featuring Jeffster’s performance of CCR’s “Fortunate Son.”

Meanwhile, Morgan has made quite a discovery. Earlier in the episode Jeff asked Morgan to get rid of the contraband he has in his locker (something that he uses to take the end off) so that the possible buyers don’t find it and fire him. Morgan goes to the lockers but is interrupted by the Ring agents. He hides on top of a cabinet and overhears them looking for the entrance to a CIA base. They get the door open and head down to Castle, where Morgan quickly follows. Somehow he manages to avoid being caught and he overhears that they plan to blow up Castle, which would therefore destroy the Buy More as well. He sneaks out (still remarkably undetected) and finds Chuck whom he informs that there is a CIA base under the buy more and that The Ring (which doesn’t sound like that threatening of a name) is going to blow it up. Chuck appears to be freaking out (which he is, of course, but not for the reasons Morgan thinks). Chuck tries to convince Morgan that they need to get everyone out of the Buy More and leave the rest to the police. Morgan, who loves his country and the Buy More, says that they have got to man-up and take matters into their own hands.

“I've been a loser my whole entire life and I'm done with that. Time for me to be a hero!” ~ Morgan

Morgan agrees to try and evacuate everyone from the store, but that plan is foiled when they discover the Buymoria revolution going into effect. He soldiers on, headed for Castle armed with electric knives, but is immediately captured buy Ring operatives. He and Chuck are held captive in Castle’s training room. Diedrich Bader wants to know where Shaw is hiding the files on The Ring (which I am about 99% sure Chuck doesn’t know to begin with). Morgan tells them that they have it all wrong. Chuck isn’t a spy – if he was, Morgan would know. When Diedrich Bader threatens to torture Morgan with a razor Chuck cracks and admits to being a spy. The Ring leaves Morgan and Chuck alone for a while, and Chuck apologizes for not telling him that he was a spy. We are all bracing ourselves for Morgan to be hurt or outraged that Chuck has kept this from him.

“My best friend is a spy? This is unbelievable. This is the best news I've ever heard!” ~ Morgan

Well went better than expected. He asks Chuck to tell him everything, from the very beginning. While Chuck fill Morgan in on the past 2 and a half seasons, we cut away to Casey back at the Buy More who manages to talk his way in to the revolution.

Lester: How do we know we can trust you, son that you're not some kind of spy for the man?
Casey: Because the only thing I hate more than hippie and neo-liberal fascists and anarchists are the hypocrite fat cat suits they eventually grow up to become.
Lester: Yeah, that works for me

He tries to get to Castle but access is denied. Ring operatives pop out and outnumber him. Luckily Jeff wanders in huffing something (chloroform?) and takes out at least one of the guys. Casey heads back to Orange Orange to tell Sarah and Shaw that there is no way in to Castle. Shaw is ready to have Langley remotely activate Castle’s self destruct mechanism, but Sarah begs him to give Chuck five more minutes.

Back in training room Morgan reflects that Sarah has been his beard, and says that it must have been hard for him to be in a fake relationship with her since he was so clearly in love with her. Morgan gets Chuck to admit out-load that he is love with Sarah (this is actually a first, isn’t it?). When the Ring agents return to lead Chuck and Morgan to certain death the intersect finally kicks it. With the weight of his secrets lifted from his shoulders Chuck is able to kung-fu their way out of there, with assistance from Morgan who actually knocks out one of the bad guys on his own. Just as Shaw is about to give up and destroy Castle the doors open to reveal a swaggering Morgan who tells Sarah to bag them and tag them.

Shaw (because he is a douche) insists that they need to get Morgan into witness protection, but Chuck says that Morgan can be trusted. Sarah backs him up and says Morgan would never betray Chuck and that he could keep this secret. Later that night Morgan and Chuck relax with Duck Hunt and meatball marina Subway sandwiches (first official Subway shout-out of the season, which I admit to totally not catching). Back at Castle, however, things get ominous when the Ring communicator rings and Casey picks up (why?). Surprise – it’s for him! Next week is going to be all about Casey. We can’t wait!

Grey's Anatomy ~ Perfect Little Accident

Overall it was a fairly upbeat episode of Grey’s this week, wouldn’t you say? It was a little light on the drama, and all of the relevant patients made it out alive (sorry Dare Devil, but your lungs will live on).

Here’s a quick jist of what when down with the cases:
(Heads up: I didn't have time to proof read this at all, so I'm sure there are a million typos. Just roll with it!)


The Dare Devil

As Owen and Cristina were leaving the hospital a trauma came in by ambulance. The dare devil was already pretty far gone, but things got a lot worse for him when the ambulance driver slipped on an icy peddle and poor guys’ gurney tipped over. Owen heads off to work on the patient, but Charles (one of the Mercy Westers I couldn’t care less about) gets the case since Cristina isn’t even in scrubs. After a giving a statement to the legal about the gurney accident, Cristina takes a detour over to misdiagnose the famous Harper Avery, who just happens to be Jackson’s grandfather. She somehow manages to get back on the dare devil’s case and gets a face full of blood right in Harper Avery’s view. The patient is a goner, but Charles manages to stabilize him enough to keep him around for organ donation. We’ll be seeing his lungs again in a little bit.



The Famous Surgeon

Dr. Harper Avery, who is so famous he gets to hand out awards named after himself (remember when Burke got it and Hahn and Cristina were wicked pissed?), passed out at a restaurant with abdominal pain. It turns out that he is Jackson’s grandfather. Avery (played by Chelcie Ross, aka Conrad “Connie” Hilton on Mad Men) demanded the best. First he asked for Dr. Grey, meaning Ellis of course (because, who are we kidding, you aren’t “great” yet – remember when you dropped a kidney?). When Meredith told him that she passed away, he asked for the next best thing – Richard. This was Richard’s first day back on the job (he had to pee in a cup for Derek) and he was looking forward to a low stress day. Not so much anymore. Avery bullied Derek and Richard into performing surgery on him while he was awake so he could watch. He was meddlesome and asked a lot of questions. He demanded that Richard use a different type of sutures then he was planning. Joke was on him though, but after the surgery he got sick again. This time Derek put him foot down and said Avery couldn’t be awake during the surgery and that Jackson would have to hang out in the waiting room. They were doing this by the book. Richard tries to back out of doing the surgery, and tells Derek that he feels like having a drink. Derek says that Richard has made progress and that he can do this. Bailey assisted him this time around. Turns out that he was allergic to the sutures he requested which Richard couldn’t have known. Snap! Throughout this storyline Meredith and Jackson bonded over how difficult to grow up in the shadow of a famous surgeon. It also turns out that Avery has been holding a spot open for Jackson at Mass Gen. Meredith encourages Jackson to learn everything he can from his grandfather before it is too late. I suspect that Avery will be peacing out by the end of the season. Too bad – he was the only Mercy Wester that I didn’t mind. Anyways, the best part of this storyline was clearly this moment when Jackson properly introduced some of his "friends" to his grandfather:

The Lung Kid

Arizona recruits Teddy’s help for a former patient of hers, Karl from Lost. Okay, I don’t remember his actual character name – so we’re just going to keep calling him Karl. Go with it. Karl has survived leukemia and lymphoma, but his lungs are damaged beyond repair from all the radiation. Unfortunately, he is deemed a very high risk candidate for a lung transplant, which means he isn’t going to get one. In the hallway Lexie asks about the possibility of doing a fancy new procedure where they repair lungs from a donor which have been too damaged for transplant. Cristina, who was just passing by, is super interested in this, especially since she had just made a fool out of herself in front of Harper Avery. When Cristina suggests to Teddy that this type of surgery could definitely impress Avery and put her in consideration for the award, Teddy says that people who are obsessed with prizes do not have their priorities straight. When she leaves Charles wanders by to mention that the Dare Devil is being kept alive long enough to have his organs harvested. How convenient! Lexie and Cristina go rouge and rescue the lungs, which were rejected by the transplant people. Since they were just going to get thrown out, they request the organs using Teddy’s name. When Teddy finds out she is pissed. She yells at Cristina for stealing the organs.

“She was being green.” ~ Lexie

While Teddy scolds Cristina Lexie works away on the lungs in a nifty looking plastic bubble. The lungs are suddenly viable and they all rush off to let Karl know he can have these hand-me-down lungs. His sister is a bitch about it, and says she wants new lungs because that’s what he deserves. Screw that, Karl wants these lungs. He’s tired, and if he dies it’s not a big deal – his affairs are in order. He’s done fighting. He’ll take his chances with the hand-me-downs. The surgery is a success thanks to some good teamwork between Teddy and Cristina.


Deaf Mom

Callie’s patient ruptured her tendon, and also happens to be deaf and stubborn. Her adult daughter, who lives with her, complains that she won’t get a hearing aid or learn sign language, so they have to scream at each other all day. Not so pleasant. Callie brings Sloan in on the case and he says that he can remove some bone from her ear canal and restore her hearing (or something along those lines). Both his and Callie’s surgeries are successful and the woman’s hearing is fully restored just in time to hear her daughter complain about how she gave up her life to live with her mother. Her mom says that she’s got that backwards. Her daughter was a tramp and she was the one who needed taking care of. At the end of the day they were both happy, they were getting their separate lives, and the daughter slept with Mark. Yeah, more on his man whorey ways later.

On a more personal level, here’s what was going on outside of surgery. Arizona approached Teddy and told her that she’s been watching Teddy stare at Owen, and that she is going to fix her. She declares that they are going to be friends and invites her to have a “girl’s night” with her, Callie, and possibly Bailey. Teddy is a little terrified by Arizona’s peppy enthusiasm, but agrees.

Alex spent all episode having surgeries withheld for be a man whore. Glad to see that Arizona had some sort of reaction to last week’s revelation.

“Oh no. Because you slept with my girlfriend and I find that when I look at you I want to hit you with a brick... jealousy's a green eyed monster and if you ask any one of my kids, they'll tell you that there's no reasoning with a monster. Dude, run away before I find a brick. (to Teddy) As my new friend, don't judge me for that.”

Mark’s serial killer eyes also scared Alex right out of an operating room. The guy was having a rough week.

Mark has returned to his man whoring ways and managed to have meaningless sex with at least three people (that we know of) in the hospital over the course of one day. That’s pretty impressive. Mark says this that he is moving on, but Callie scolds him.

“Getting out of bed and not wearing sweats all day is a sign of moving on. Sleeping with the nurses? Not so much.”

Mark told her that he wouldn’t have to sleep with nurses if she would put out, but Callie shut that down real quick by reminding him that she’s in a committed, loving, adult relationship. Damn right. After he kicks Alex out of surgery, Callie yells at him and tells him to grow up. She knows he’s hurting from losing Lexie and from Little Sloan abandoning him, but being giant douche isn’t going to do anything about it. He needs to man up. But when he goes to apologize to Alex, he finds more than he bargained for.

Lexie and Alex have continued to sleep together, but according to Lexie (whom Derek accidentally saw naked in the beginning of the episode) it is just meaningless sex. Meredith says that she isn’t a sex without feelings kind of girl.

“Your heart lives in your vagina!”

She continues to try and prove everyone otherwise. At the end of the episode she tells Alex that if he can’t handle sex without feelings than she’ll go find another guy who can. Alex says he’s fine with sleeping with her, he just didn’t want her getting all emotional and use him to make Mark jealous. Twenty minutes later Alex emerges from an on call room where Mark apologizes, but Lexie appears a moment later from the same room, adjusting her clothes, and breaks Mark’s heart all over again. I know that Lexie thinks she can handle this meaningless sex, but I don’t think it can possible go on for long. Blonde or not, she isn’t that kind of girl.

And instead of talking about girls night, here are some high lights. This filled me with all sorts of glee.

Lost ~ Sundown

I bet you were expecting a Sun/Jin centric episode this week, weren’t you? The title sure wanted you to think that, and it would have continued the pattern of mirroring character centric episodes from season 1. This turned out to be a Sayid episode instead, complete with the requisite “I’m a good man” / “I’m a bad man” / “I’m a changed man” that we come to expect when he takes center stage. Luckily, we also got some kick-ass fight scenes and major progress on the Team (Ghost) Jacob and Team MIB front. Go watch this week's episode if you haven’t already. If you’re all caught up, grab yourself a plate of eggs and mosey on along to the rest of the blog.

Ummm . . . .

Awkward. Okay, Kate . . . I guess you can come, but MIB isn’t going to be super pleased about it.


In the Sideways-verse

Sideways Sayid’s cab pulls up a nice looking home. He approaches the door nervously with a bouquet of yellow roses. He rings the bell and we see his face reflected in the glass door as Nadia approaches (this is the closest thing we get to a mirror moment in this episode, but it is more reminiscent of Smokey’s window reflection in The Substitute). He’s greeted by Nadia, her two kids, and her husband – Sayid’s brother Omer. Oh snap.

When they are alone Nadia asks if he received her (love) letters, and wants to know why he didn't write back. The kids interrupt to thank Sayid for the souvenirs from Australia and say they found a picture of Nadia in Sayid’s bag. Awkward. Omer probably overheard this, which makes it even better. Later, Omer wakes Sayid up in the middle of the night to tell him that he is in some serious trouble. He borrowed money from a loan shark to open his new store, but once he paid back the debt the loan shark insisted he still needed to pay interest for as long as the store was open. Sayid offered to help him out financially, but that’s not the kind of help Omer was looking for. He wants Sayid to convince the load shark to leave him and his family alone. Omer says he knows what kind of man Sayid is, but Sayid refuses and insists that he is not that man anymore.

After Sayid puts the children on the school bus the next morning Nadia runs out and says something has happened to Omer. He was supposedly mugged outside the store. When they get to the hospital (where we briefly see Jack pass by with a glance at Sayid), the doctors say he has a punctured lung. Sayid tells Nadia to stay at the hospital and he starts to head off in search of revenge. Nadia begs him to go home and make the children feel safe instead. Later Nadia returns home and finds Sayid repairing a broken vase. She says Omer is awake and resting at the hospital. Sayid offers again to help with money, but Nadia says it is Omer’s mess and he will have to clean it up. She then wants to know why Sayid pushed her towards his brother (we’re all a little curious about that). He says that he has been living with guilt for the past twelve years and he didn’t feel he deserved her. Lame answer, Sayid.

The next day a black SUV pulls up in front of the Nadia’s home and intercepts Sayid on the way to pick-up the children. Omar (a freighter crew member in the original timeline) makes a veiled threat towards the children and tells Sayid to get in the car. He takes him to a restaurant kitchen where we discover the loan shark is Keamy!!!! Keamy eats some eggs and tells says he’s sorry to hear about Omer’s mugging. He gets right to the point, which is that Omer still owes him money. Sayid says that the debt has been paid, which Keamy says is a lie. Things get heated real quick and Sayid grab’s Omar’s gun, uses him as a human shield, and shoots the other henchmen. Keamy says that he can forgive the debt and they can just forget about it. Sayid says he can’t do that and shoots Keamy.

Sayid starts to leave but is stopped by pounding noises. He opens the walk-in fridge to find Jin, beaten, gagged and tied. Our guess is that all the money Jin was trying to hide from customs was a payment to Keamy from Sun’s father. I’m guessing Keamy didn’t take kindly to the news that airport security had detained the money. Speaking of Jin, is everyone up to speed that he and Sun aren’t married in the Sideways-verse? Neither of them are wearing wedding rings and security called Sun “Ms. Paik.” Anyway, Sayid takes the tape off Jin’s mouth, he speaks in Korean (“Don't Kill me. Please. Let me live.”) and Sayid asks his name.

The Great Temple Massacre of ‘07

Sayid barges in to Dogen’s chambers and demands answers. He wants to know about the machine they hooked him up to. Dogen tells him that in every person there is a scale which measures the balance between good and evil within that person. The machine tells them which direction the scale is tipped. He says that Sayid’s scale is tipped the wrong way. Dogen admits that he tried to poison Sayid.

“I think it would be best if you were dead.” ~ Dogen

Sayid claims to be a good man (ummm, a good man who shot an innocent kid a few days ago), and he and Dogen get into an epic throw down. In addition to killing children Sayid also appears to have no respect for the well being of innocent pottery. So sad.

Dogen gets the upper hand and has the opportunity to stab Sayid, but be pauses when his baseball falls from the table (in slow motion). Instead of killing Sayid, Dogen banishes him.

Meanwhile, MIB and Claire are standing outside the temple perimeter. He is sending her to deliver a message inside the temple. He is only asking her to do it because he can’t do it himself. Claire wants some kind guarantee that she’ll be reunited with Aaron and he says he always does what he says. She asks if he is going to hurt the temple dwellers and he responds, “only the ones that won’t listen.”

Back at the temple Sayid is hitting the road as intended. Miles wants to know what is going on.

“Apparently, I'm evil.” ~ Sayid

Sayid remarks that it's strange that the temple people want him dead, considering they were the ones to bring him back to life. Miles makes it very clear that Sayid was dead for hours. Something brought him back to life, but it definitely wasn’t Dogen and crew. Just then Claire arrives at the temple and tells Dogen “he wants to see you.” Dogen is no fool, he knows that MIB will kill him if he meets him. Claire suggests that he said someone MIB won’t kill. Dogen has Claire thrown in a hole. He tells Lennon to have Reyes and Shephard brought to him. When Lennon says they are missing Dogen settles for Sayid.

Dogen brings Sayid into his chamber and reveals a ceremonial dagger. He explains that Claire is a confused girl under the influence of an angry man. This angry man had been trapped for years, but he has been freed by Jacob’s death and will not stop until he destroys every living thing on the island. He is evil incarnate. Dogen gives Sayid the dagger and says that the man will come to him as someone he knows, but who has died. He should stab him in the chest before he speaks, otherwise it will be too late. If he does this it will prove he is good. He heads off to meet MIB. Along the way he runs in to Kate who asks what happened back at the temple. He says she should ask Miles and continues on his way. When Kate gets back to the temple Miles asks if Sawyer sent her packing. He also tells her that Claire has returned.

“She's acting all weird, but still hot, though.” ~ Miles (about Claire)

Back in the jungle Sayid encounters a familiar rustling. MIB appears as Locke and says hello. Without missing a beat Sayid stabs him in the chest.

Fail.

“Now why'd you go and do that?” “You stabbed me in the chest without even saying hello.” ~ MIB

He is quickly able to convince Sayid that Dogen sent him out there knowing that he couldn’t kill MIB, and hoping MIB would finish him off. It isn’t the first time he has tried to have someone else kill Sayid, after all (the poison pill). MIB asks him to deliver a message to the temple and offers Sayid anything in the world that he wanted in return. Sayid says that they only thing he ever wanted died in his arms (no, not you Shannon) and that he’ll never be able to see it again. MIB asks “what if you could?” An empty promise, or a suggestion that MIB has knowledge and power over the Sideways-verse? We’ll have to wait and see.

Sayid returns to the temple and announces that Jacob is dead and there is no reason they need to stay in the temple anymore. MIB will be leaving the island and anyone who wants to go with him should join him before sundown and be saved, or stay and die.

Kate misses this memo because she is busy trying to find Claire. Lennon tries to stop her, but she pins him to the wall and demands to see Claire. He grants her two minutes with her. We find Claire in a deep hole signing “Catch a Falling Star” to herself. Kate is so relieved to have found her. When Claire says that the Others have her baby she happily states that she took Aaron and raised him for the past three years. She says he’s a beautiful boy.

Girl is pissed. Kate tells Claire that she returned to the island to rescue her.

“I'm not the one that needs to be rescued. He's coming Kate.”

The temple inhabitants start to flee, including Cindy, Emma, and Zach (look how little Emma has grown!). Lennon says that they should all stay, that the temple is safe, and that “he can’t come in.” Miles asks Sayid if he thinks they should leave, but Sayid says he needs to return Dogen’s dagger first. Yup, this can’t possibly go well.

Sayid finds Dogen contemplating his baseball at the temple’s healing pool. Sayid asks why he didn’t take the opportunity to kill him with his own hands. Dogen reveals his backstory. He says he was once a business man in Osaka. After a promotion his coworkers took him out to celebrate. It was a Friday night. Every Friday he picked his 12 year old son up from baseball. That night there was a terrible accident and his son was injured beyond help. Jacob came to Dogen and said that he could heal his son. In exchange Dogen had to come to the island and he would never see his son again. Dogen asks if MIB had offered Sayid a similar bargain. It is now sundown. He asks Sayid whether he will go or stay. Sayid says he thinks he will stay, and immediately overpowers Dogen and drowns him in the pool.

When Lennon arrives on the scene he yells that Dogen was the only thing keeping “him” out (not the ashses?). Sayid says he knows and slits Lennon’s throat with the dagger, throwing him into the pool.

The smoke monster invades the temple killing everyone in it’s path. Kate and Miles rush for safety, but Kate separates from him to go and find Claire. When she reaches Claire’s hole Claire says that it is much safer down there. Kate dives into the hole, hanging on to the edge, just before smokey passes, watching it from bellow with a bit of fascination and horror.

Miles attempts to barricade himself in a room, but the door bursts open to reveal Ilana, Sun, Lapedis, and Ben. Miles is surprised to see Frank, who says they can catch up later. Ilana leads them to the secret passage used by Hurley and Jack last episode. Ben offers to get Sayid (for realz?) and finds him at the pool.

BEN: There's still a way out of here. There's still time
SAYID: Not for me.

Ben can clearly see the evil in Sayid, and hurries on out of there. He does not, however, reunite with the rest of his group who manages to make it out just before smokey zooms down the hallway.

In one of the creepiest episode endings in show history, Sayid and Claire walk through the temple’s courtyard underscored by Claire’s super creepy “Catch a Falling Star”. There are dead people everywhere. Kate follows behind them and takes a gun off one of the dead bodies. They reunite with MIB outside the temple, who is surrounded by the Others who left the temple earlier (including Cindy and the kids). Kate is surprised to see Locke. MIB doesn’t look too pleased to see her. Clearly she wasn’t invited to this party either. More importantly, he and Claire are BFFs for life.

Easter Eggs, Sidenotes, and Questions

• There are 108 double stitches on a baseball.

• The restaurant kitchen that Sayid is taken to is the same one Naomi took Miles to in Some Like It Hoth to recruit him to join the Kahana.

• Dogen’s story of how he was recruit to the island is very reminiscent of Juliet’s. She stayed on the island so that her sister’s cancer would be cured, but in the end she never saw her again.

• If it was Dogen keeping MIB out of the temple, what was the deal with the ashes? Did the ash only work if Dogen was alive?

• Just to be clear, we know Sayid is evil because his accent has suddenly become wicked sketchy, correct?

• It would seem as though MIB cannot kill any of the candidates directly. That is why Dogen was looking for Jack or Hurley before settling for Sayid. Therefore, Dogen wasn’t trying to kill Sayid at all (that time).

• Why didn't MIB die? Was Dogen wrong? Can he not be killed? Was it because he spoke to Sayid first? Did Sayid fail because he had already been turned, meaning MIB can only be killed by someone pure of heart? Can he not be killed by a candidate?

• Is there any hope for Dogen and Lennon’s survival, since they died in the healing fountain? I don’t think so, but we’ll have to wait and see.

• When MIB suggests that Sayid can be with Nadia again is he referring to the Sideways-verse? When he tells Claire that she will be with Aaron again, is he not just leading her own? Does he have knowledge or power over the Sideways-verse?

Monday Night Quickies

Not that we didn’t thoroughly enjoy the Olympics (because we did), but it is definitely great to have real TV back again. Although I would love to go in depth about last night’s episodes of How I Met Your Mother and Chuck, I instead chose to dedicate my efforts to making a snazzy new banner for the blog. You like? So here are some quick reactions to last night’s episodes.



HIMYM ~ Hooked

Let’s face it, the real star of this episode was the teacup pig. WHY DON’T WE HAVE ONE????? It was great to see Scooter again (played by NPH’s real life BF David Burtka). I love that his sad eyes were so heart breaking that even Marshall told Scooter to hold out for his chance with Lilly – Marshall isn’t going to live forever, after all. Carrie Underwood was pretty blah, but her character only required her to be hot – not much emphasis on the personality. So I guess she was fine enough. The major things I took away from this episode were that even Future Ted acknowledges that Ted is a giant douche sometimes, teacup pigs are awesome, Robin is a Captain Hook, and they really like making Jason Segel play teenage Marshall.




Chuck ~ Chuck versus The Fake Name

We didn’t mind Hannah, but we also knew she wouldn’t be sticking around for long. Peace out girl. Shaw, however, we absolutely can’t stand. We don’t see any chemistry between him and Sarah, and they kind of gross us out as a couple. My money is on him turning out to be a Ring operative.

That being said, I think Yvonne Strahovski has had some great material this season so far. If only it wasn’t with lame people like Shaw. It’s nice to see her really open up emotionally. Too bad it’s happening at the same time that Chuck is hardening up. Will these two crazy kids ever get their act together? And how is her dating Shaw any more allowable than her dating Chuck? Maybe because he doesn’t pose such an emotional threat as Chuck does? And what up with her real name being Sam? Weirded out. Let’s stick to Sarah, shall we?

The episode was okay (not great, but still enjoyable). From what I hear in the TV critics world, the next few episodes are going to be mind blowingly awesome, so I can’t wait for next week!

Desperate Housewives ~ The Chase

This week’s episode title had me somewhat puzzled at first, until I realized the song being referenced was “The Chase” incidental music from A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum (two Forum songs in a row!) which underscores the giant chase sequence at the end of the show. During this sequence everyone basically runs around like crazy until they somehow eventually end up right where they belong – be it reunited with their family, in the arms of their true love, or free (amongst others). Although this episode didn’t have any literal chase scenes, it did steer the characters towards some happy endings, love, and new pursuits (both creepy – I’m talking to you new guy, and uninteresting – that would be you, Bolens).

More importantly, this episode had more gay people than a matinee of Xanadu. Where have all of Bob and Lee’s gay friends been hanging out? I refuse to believe that a porch full of gay men drinking cosmos in the middle of the afternoon is a normal event on Wisteria Lane. Speaking of gay guys, nice to see you again Andrew! We also got some speedy progress on the Katherine/Robin front. It wasn’t only a good night for the gays, but the b-list characters really got a chance to shine this week too. Now if only we could have avoided seeing the Bolens for an entire episode, it would have been a completely satisfying episode.



Gabby and the Gays

Celia comes down with a case of the chicken pox, which means pox-susceptible Gabby gets a vacation. Why she ended up at Bob and Lee’s home instead of someone she is a bit closer to is kind of a mystery, but we’ll role with it because it means we get to see more of our fave gay men on Wisteria Lane (sorry Andrew, you’ve been slacking, and I can’t even remember what your boyfriend looks like). Gabby is in heaven. Not only does she get to take a nap in the middle of the day, but she also gets to drink herself silly and party with dozens of gay men we’ve never seen before. Really, guys? Isn’t Bob a lawyer? Is he really drinking and partying so heavily on a week night? I know they have to juxtapose their FABULOUS life with Gabby’s boring family life, but what adult couple with jobs actually does like that?

Anyways, Carlos tells Gabby that the kids aren’t contagious anymore, but she isn’t quite ready to leave her vacation yet. She tells Carlos that she has a stomach virus so she’d better stay a way a little longer, and the party continues.

“I have mini quiches in the fridge and ten gays on speed dial.” ~ Lee

For a while longer she is happy being the center of the gay universe, charming them all with stories from her modeling years, but when Celia (or was it Juanita?) calls to tell her about making a soccer goal she stumbles upon a quiet room which turns out to be a nursery. Bob finds her and tells her that he and Lee have been trying to adopt a baby, but it hasn’t been going so well. They came very close a couple of months ago, and even held a little girl in their arms for two days before social services informed them that the mother had changed her mind (Gabby can relate, if you recall).

“You may envy our lives, Gaby, but it's nothing compared to how we envy yours.” ~ Bob

She of course heads back home with a refreshed appreciation of her family. This whole plot was pretty much just for comic relief, but it was sure nice to see more out of Bob and Lee. I hope they don’t drop the adoption storyline.


Bree, Andrew, and Creeper McCreeperson

Bree is a bit frustrated by Andrew who is coming up a little short in terms of managing her employees. Tad, a young gay guy who we’ll probably never see again, accidentally accepted a delivery of 100 flower arrangements, instead of the 10 that they ordered. Bree wants to take care of Tad, but Andrew says he can handle it – it’s his job, and he’ll never get any better at it if she doesn’t let him handle his mistakes. To be fair, Tad is a moron and should definitely be fired. I’m team Bree on that one. Next thing you know some creepy dude waltzes into Bree’s office, declares himself a huge fan, and wants to work for her. She’s skeptical, but his qualifications are outstanding and he comes up with a brilliant solution to her flower problem right off the bat. The guy, Sam Allen, is a definite creeper. You can tell right off the bat. Not helping his case is that he’s played by Sam Page, who plays Greg Harris (Joan’s loser, rapist of a husband) on Mad Men. I know a bad guy when I see one!

Sam later tells Bree and Andrew that he thinks they should fire Tad, and when Andrew puts up a fight Sam reveals that he thinks Andrew is having an affair with Tad. That’s a pretty bold accusation to make in front of someone’s mother/boss, don’t you think Sam? Andrew admits that it’s true, but Bree shouldn't be able to judge him for cheating on Alex considering how she cheated on Orson with Karl. Pot, Kettle, etc. Later on Sam has a heart to heart with Bree, saying that it must be difficult having a family member as an employee. How does she know when to cut the apron strings and stop coddling Andrew? He says that he can take of things at work, and that she should go catch up on her sleep. As soon as she clears out he picks up Andrew’s “World’s Greatest Son” son mug and pours himself a cup a creepy coffee. Whatever this guy is up to it is no good. Andrew and Bree should both watch out!


Happy Birthday Polly Penny

This was epic fail week over at the Scavos. Somehow Lynette and Tom managed to forget Penny’s birthday. I’m sorry, but I don’t know any 11 year olds who don’t start giving you a countdown at least 2 months before their birthday. For the sake of the plotline we’ll just say that Penny is as quiet and forgettable as her amount of screen time this season would imply.

Tom: How could you forget her birthday?
Lynette: I'm pregnant. I forget pants sometimes.

They try to make it up to her with a party that night, but things are only made worse when Lynette accidentally tells the bakery to put “Polly” on the cake, instead of Penny (this is one of the baby names being tossed around). Fail. The next day Penny doesn't take the bus from school. One of her classmates gives Lynette a note saying that Penny had run away from home. She and Tom get thoroughly judged at the police station, where they receive a call saying that Penny is at a hotel where she tried to check in using their credit card. Apparently the hotel has no issues renting rooms to 11 year olds, because when Lynette shows up Penny has made herself comfortable in the room and had already cracked open an $8 jar of nuts. Lynette apologizes, but Penny says she isn’t mad at Lynette, she’s mad at the baby. Lynette tells her to look at the bright side. Soon Porter will be moving out, and then it they’ll have a 3 to 2 female majority in the house.

“Think of a world where the toilet seat is never up! This is our time to take them down!” ~ Lynette

They have themselves a good tickle and decide to stay in the hotel room that night and order ice cream sundaes.


McCluskey, Roy, and that meddling Susan

While over for breakfast, Susan starts questioning Roy as to whether he sees marriage in his and McCluskey’s future. He says that he and Karen are happy they way they are, but it turns out McCluskey has a different opinion. Susan practically forces Roy to propose on the spot. Since Susan eventually ruins everything she touches, things immediately start to go wrong. Roy tells her that the second he wasn’t allowed to look at other women, he started noticing them. He was certain he would end up cheating on Karen. He even plants a kiss on Susan to drive home his point (and to make for interesting promos). When Susan gets up the nerve to warn McCluskey about Roy’s wandering eye, she finds her crying on her sofa. No, Roy hasn’t left her – the doctors found a spot on her lung that they think might be cancer. This is especially traumatic since the actress has lung cancer in real life. Susan runs into Roy on the way home and he says that cancer picked the wrong broad to start a fight with. She’s going to beat this thing. Also, they’re going to get married as soon as possible. Awwwwww.



The Boring Bolens

These scenes were such a waste of air time. Couldn’t we have tacked them on to the beginning of the next episode instead? Danny lied to his parents and said he went camping with Eddie to clear his mind. As we know, he went to NYC to search for Anna. They later run into Eddie at the grocery store who reveals where Danny had really gone. Oh no! What if Danny goes back to the old neighborhood? What is Patrick finds him? What if I COULD NOT POSSIBLY CARE LESS?!?! Sorry, but I am so over their storyline. Angie I don’t mind as much, but Danny and Nick are useless and annoying. Couldn’t these minutes have gone to a more intesting storyline, like . . .


Katherine and Robin

Katherine, who totally isn’t into women if you recall, starts out with a steamy dream sequence staring Robin, maple syrup, and very little clothing. Oh my, Katherine, what gay dreams you are having! She later talks to her therapist about the dreams and says they can’t possibly mean she is interested in women, because people her age don’t just wake up one day with an entirely different sexuality (pffffffffft, okay Katherine, sure they don’t). Her therapist makes a good point and reminds us that Katherine was coo coo for coco puffs just a short while ago, and romantic interludes of any sort might not necessarily be in her best interests. He suggests that it might be for the best to ask Robin to search for new living arrangements (hey, way to rain on our lesbian parade!).

Later Robin comes home with good news – she just scored a hostessing job at a fancy sounding restaurant. She thanks Katherine for loaning her the shirt she is wearing ( . . . really? ok) and she pops open a bottle of champagne, which spills all over her. Robin takes off the shirt so she can go rinse it out, despite Katherine’s protests. Katherine flashes back to her dream, and blurts out that Robin needs to move out. Robin is upset, and exposed (she stands there in her bra for the rest of the scene – I think Julie Benz was clothed for about 5% of her screen time this week). Katherine reveals that she has developed feelings for Robin, which is something she can’t handle right now, so Robin needs to move out. Robin admits that she also has feelings for Katherine. She goes upstairs to pack, but Katherine can’t stay away for long. Just a little while later she goes into Robins room and closes the door suggestively (really, you bothered to close the door even though you are the only two living there?). The next morning we find Katherine and Robin in bed together. Katherine’s expression is a little hard to read. Hopefully she doesn’t have a morning after freak-out.