Monday Night Quickies

Not that we didn’t thoroughly enjoy the Olympics (because we did), but it is definitely great to have real TV back again. Although I would love to go in depth about last night’s episodes of How I Met Your Mother and Chuck, I instead chose to dedicate my efforts to making a snazzy new banner for the blog. You like? So here are some quick reactions to last night’s episodes.



HIMYM ~ Hooked

Let’s face it, the real star of this episode was the teacup pig. WHY DON’T WE HAVE ONE????? It was great to see Scooter again (played by NPH’s real life BF David Burtka). I love that his sad eyes were so heart breaking that even Marshall told Scooter to hold out for his chance with Lilly – Marshall isn’t going to live forever, after all. Carrie Underwood was pretty blah, but her character only required her to be hot – not much emphasis on the personality. So I guess she was fine enough. The major things I took away from this episode were that even Future Ted acknowledges that Ted is a giant douche sometimes, teacup pigs are awesome, Robin is a Captain Hook, and they really like making Jason Segel play teenage Marshall.




Chuck ~ Chuck versus The Fake Name

We didn’t mind Hannah, but we also knew she wouldn’t be sticking around for long. Peace out girl. Shaw, however, we absolutely can’t stand. We don’t see any chemistry between him and Sarah, and they kind of gross us out as a couple. My money is on him turning out to be a Ring operative.

That being said, I think Yvonne Strahovski has had some great material this season so far. If only it wasn’t with lame people like Shaw. It’s nice to see her really open up emotionally. Too bad it’s happening at the same time that Chuck is hardening up. Will these two crazy kids ever get their act together? And how is her dating Shaw any more allowable than her dating Chuck? Maybe because he doesn’t pose such an emotional threat as Chuck does? And what up with her real name being Sam? Weirded out. Let’s stick to Sarah, shall we?

The episode was okay (not great, but still enjoyable). From what I hear in the TV critics world, the next few episodes are going to be mind blowingly awesome, so I can’t wait for next week!

How I Met Your Mother ~ Rabbit or Duck

I’m so glad that this week’s episode heavily featured HIMYM’s clever Super Bowl ad (shown above). We happened to be tuned in to the Super Bowl when this aired and called immediately for our date with Barney Stinson (which is set for MacLaren's at 3:45 am Monday, October 12, 2016 – jealous? What do you mean everyone got the same message????). For the actual episode they wisely replaced the 877 number with a fake one. Barney spent all episode being haunted by his magic phone, with its “Turkey In The Straw” ring tone slowly driving him mad with the promise of an even hotter girl. Even Ted couldn't resist the siren call of the magic phone, and ends up ditching a perfectly awesome girl that Lily and Marshal “arranged-marriaged” him with for Valentines Day (a girl they got from answering the magic phone) for the promise of an even hotter girl around the corner. Question: Are we to believe that not a single homely girl called that phone?

Meanwhile, Robin is reluctantly going on a date with her jerk co-star, Don. Well, she seems to think of it as a date, but everyone else think that she just WANTS it to be a date, which Robin vehemently denounces. The group says that even though she first saw him as repulsive, so totally wants him now. And thus began one of the greatest arguments of the whole series: Rabbit or Duck.

The premise of the picture above is that at first you may see a rabbit, be completely convinced it’s a rabbit, but one day you would look at it and you suddenly see a duck! (For the record both Courtney and I agree that we always see the duck first when we see this picture). Ted surmises that while Robin may have seen Don as a rabbit at first (something she didn’t want), she now sees him as a duck (and totally wants to jump his bones). Marshal agrees, except he says that the rabbit is the thing you want, not the duck. Thus begins the what older Ted describes as one of the most heated argument the group has ever had, where everyone argues over which is better, rabbit or duck. This is a thrown down, screaming, time elapse, epic argument. At the height of the argument, Marshal argues that the rabbit would prove its superiority if put in a box and forced to fight with a duck.

[both screaming]
Ted: Why don't we just do that?
Marshall: Because it's illegal, Ted!
Ted: Only if we bet on it, Marshall!

In the end, probably hours later, the group finally wears down Marshall and forces him to admit that ducks are better. It’s moments like this that remind me of why I love HIMYM so much.

So, Robin ends up going to Don’s apartment, where she believes there to be a gathering of people (with Ted as backup), only to find Don pulling THE NAKED MAN!

Don: It's called the 'naked man' - I read it about on some guy's blog.

Rabbit. The next day at work, however, Robin is surprised to find an apologetic and sincere Don, who has even gone as far as to put on pants for her (he normally donald ducks it).

Robin: Ah, duck.

Lest we forget, one of the best things about this entire episode was the return of Ranjit! Barney hired him as his personal chauffer to help him deal with the high traveling demands of the magic phone. We died when Ranjit picked up Barney and carried him out of MacLaren’s at the end of the episode. Ranjit is the man, always there when you need him!

Quotes:

Barney: I've enlisted Ranjit's services as my personal driver because for the next week I'll be sleeping with hundreds of women and I don't want to take the subway because, you know - germs.

Robin: I hate him - I just want to attack him, rip his clothes off, and spank his little bottom until it turns red - Shut up

Barney: Keep your eyes peeled for a red sweater. Based on her texts, she's dirty, dyslexic, and wants to 96 me.

TV Blind Dates ~ Part 1

Courtney is out of town for a few days and new episodes from this week’s programming will wait patiently in the DVRs for her return. So in the interest of satisfying my own boredom I have put together this little time waster.

With the aid of an extremely handy online secret santa name drawing tool I have randomly put together 15 TV Blind Dates featuring some of our favorite characters. Ignoring current (or potential) romantic entanglements, as well as geographical and temporal barriers specific to their respective shows, let’s see show these characters match up! Here are our first five match-ups!


Temperance Brennan (Bones) and Mark Sloan (Grey’s Anatomy)

Common Ground: They are both doctors, and are extremely good looking. They are fans of sex without romantic entanglements. They are neither humble nor shy, and both are well off financially.

Possible Conflicts: Brennan’s literal way of thinking may become a bit tiresome to Mark, who is a fan of obscure references and insinuation. Mark may be a little too smug for Brennan’s tastes.

At the end of the date: 87% probability of a one night stand. 7% chance of a second date.




Sue Sylvester (Glee) and Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)

Common Ground: Phil was a cheerleader in college, so that should give them plenty to talk about. Plus they are both remarkably tall.

Possible Conflicts: Phil is much too weak of a man for Sue. She would destroy him physically and emotionally. But it sure would be fun to watch, right?

At the end of the date: 99% chance that Sue says “You think this is hard? Try __________. That’s Hard!”, 10% chance of this happening in a sexual circumstance.




Callie Torres (Grey’s Anatomy) and Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)

Common Ground: They both have mighty fine singing voices (well, Sara does if Callie doesn’t). They both like the ladies, so they could always talk about that. Whenever Barney gets something broken by a jealous boyfriend or a particularly strong lady conquest, Callie could patch him right up.

Possible Conflicts: Callie’s more of a relationship kind of person. Also, I’m going to go ahead and call her mostly gay nowadays. Barney just came out of a real relationship with Robin, so he’s definitely going to be playing the field for a while.

At the end of the date: 0% chance of a second date, but Callie might be up to being his occasional wingman (wingwoman . . . winglady . . . whichever).




Olivia Dunham (Fringe) and Seeley Booth (Bones)

Common Ground: They are both highly skilled FBI agents (sometimes Olivia is classified as DHS, it’s so hard to keep track). They both look good in suits. They each spend a significant amount of their work day around dead bodies. They are both willing to bend the rules a little if it’s the right thing to do. Olivia is good with kids, so visits with Parker would go smoothly.

Possible Conflicts: Olivia’s work in the Fringe division lends itself to secrecy and government cover-ups, both of which Booth has major issues with.

At the end of the date: 67% chance that at least one of them will get called in to work before the date ends. Possibility of a second date, 25%.




Juliet Burke (Lost) and Gregory House (House)

Common Ground: They are both doctors. House would probably be able to figure out that pesky island pregnancy problem, but sending his team to break into the island’s apartment would probably prove tricky. They both command authority, and at first glance it’s difficult to tell whether they are a good or bad guy.

Possible Conflict: Juliet would put up with a certain amount of name calling and sarcasm (she was with Sawyer after all), but eventually he’d go too far and she would be forced to kick his ass.

At the end of the date: Likelihood that Juliet puts up with House for an entire date, only 35%.

How I Met Your Mother ~ Girls vs. Suits ***100th Episode!!!***

Thanks for a super solid 100th episode, HIMYM! There were a lot of great moments:

• TV’s Tim Gunn as Barney’s personal tailor.
•  Lilly trying to get Marshal to admit that the bartender was hotter than her and further reinforcing that she’s a little gay some times (“She's a goddess! Her legs go for miles. And that ass? I would wear that thing for a hat!”).
• Robin getting pissed because she wasn’t the hottest girl in the room and insisting that the bartending was benefiting circumstantial hotness.
•  A classic Barney scheme.

We came literally within inches of meeting the mother, but we know two things for sure: Rachel Bilson is not the mother, and that the mother is cooler than we could ever have imagined. Paints robots doing sports, makes her breakfast food sing broadway tunes (“Your mother's rendition of 'Memory,' as performed by an English muffin is, to this day, the most hauntingly beautiful thing I have ever heard.”), plays the base . . . basically she’s made of awesome.

That’s about it, right?

Oh wait, FREAKING MUSICAL NUMBER, Y’ALL!!! That’s right, we finally saw the much anticipated “Nothing Suits Me Like A Suit” and it was made of win, as we expected. Frankly, how could it not have been? Best moment: "I'm gonna stop you right there. It's the suits. Come on, Lily, get your head out of your ass."

How I Met Your Mother ~ Last Cigarette Ever

This week HIMYM got away with something that no other sitcom could ever think about doing. It was revealed that the gang have all been smokers to various degrees throughout the entire time we’ve known them. Sure, we’ve seen an occasional cigar, but actual hardcore addicted cigarette smoking? How could we have missed this? Simple: because Ted didn’t want his kids to know. Pure genius. Despite the title, this wasn’t anyone last cigarette ever - but they do all quite eventually. Robin’s smoking montage killed me (while brushing her teeth and doing yoga – awesome). Ted and Barney played the perfect casual smokers turned addicts. Lily’s smoker voice, supplied by the unmistakable Harvey Fierstein, was priceless. We also met Don Frank, Robin’s new co-anchor who is a total tool. They’ll be dating within 3 months. Eww.

What is an episode these days without a little time travel? Ok, this one was purely Marshal’s fantasy (unlike during “Window”, which I am taking to be completely true). He imagines going back in time and beating the crap out of 13 year old him for taking that first cigiarette. How is it that 13 year old Marshal looked like, well a 13 year old, but 15 year old Marshal looks just like present day Marshal with a rat tail and some zits? 14 was a rough year I suppose.

A couple of quotes:

Barney: What do you think cigarettes are doing right now? Do you think they're thinking of us?

Barney: I am not a smoker. I only smoke in certain situations: post-coital, when I'm with Germans, sometimes those two overlaps, coital, birthdays, to annoy my mom, pre-coital, on a sailboat, the day The Mets are mathematically eliminated every year, and, of course, wait for it, cause lord knows I have, pregnancy scares.
Ted: Why are you smoking right now?
Barney: I'm always pre-coital, Ted.

Minicaps: DH, Amazing Race, Castle, HIMYM, SYTYCD

It’s sad but true that we are still behind on TV, but here’s a quick run through of some of our viewing for this week so far including Desperate Housewives, Amazing Race, Castle, HIMYM, and SYTYCD.

Desperate Housewives

We’re just going to go ahead and call it – RIP Karl. That’s the major death we’re putting our money on. We’re also going with Lynette having a miscarriage from saving Celia. We all together on that? Okay. We’ll check in after the next new episode which will be a misleading fantasy episode showing us some fake futures.

PS: I’ve just awarded Desperate Housewives 50 bonus points for naming this episode “Boom Crunch.”


Amazing Race

Meghan and Cheyne won it all, which wasn’t particularly shocking but was entirely satisfying. Anyone else ready to punch Ericka in the face by the time they were two seconds into the cirque du soleil challenge? And we were so impressed with her when she repelled down the side of that building with little to no complaining! So congrats to Meghan and Cheyne! You got the million dollars plus a whole mess of prizes from coming in first so many times. And you probably won’t break-up the second you get him, so that’s an added bonus!

Castle

Girl’s hair is finally getting less mullety, and that alone is worth a mention. On to the actual episode. Usually when we are able to recognize a guest star on shows like this we are pretty safe to say that they are involved in whatever murder/crime we are investigating (meaning, they did it!) but this week really threw us for a loop. We had:

Rider Strong

 Riley

and Cut Throat

so our minds pretty much overloaded with possibilities. Then it turned out to be some random assistant that we didn’t recognize at all! What a rip! Rider Strong has done this to us before (see his episode of Bones where he was a giant creeper red herring), but we expected more from you Riley and Cut Throat!

HIMYM

So Maggie, the girl who Ted and the rest of man kind  were all trying to get with was very familiar. Of course she’s been on Gossip Girl, Privileged, Reba, Freaks and Geeks and a whole mess of other stuff that I can place her in even though I never really watched. But just now I scroller threw her imdb and had my mind blown by her 37 episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark?. Old school (season 3 and on). Now that I know she was Sam in the Midnight Society I totally get it, Ted.

Barney had some good stuff with his overalls challenge, and Robin was great at foiling him and throwing herself at Maggie’s friend, but the real star of this episode totally had to be past Marshal, with a future Marshal as a close runner up.

Dear Future Me,

First off, you'd better be driving either a kick-ass Camaro or the A-Team van. That's priority numero uno. And by now your rattail should hang down to your frickin' knees. You can still slam-dunk, obviously. And you've legally changed your name to "Vanilla Thunder." Your wife, let me break it down: blonde, six feet tall, has an awesome rack and caters to your every need.

(“Sorry, babe." "That's okay. You just described your mother.")

You're still rocking the stone-washed overalls, because this look is working. Oh, and most importantly, you'd better be saving the world. If you became some lame, corporate sellout? Just throw yourself off a cliff, because you suck. And I? Licky boom-boom down.

SYTYCD

Poor Russel, having his partner taken away due to an injury the day of the performance for the second time! Is he cursed or sabotaging? Hmmmm. Sorry Ashleigh. Me thinks it might be best for you and Ryan to go home together this week. If Kathryn is in the bottom again I then I seriously don’t get America. If she and Jacob don’t make it to the finale there will be hell to pay. My guesses for the bottom 2 guys and girls: Ryan, Russell, Ashleigh and Ellenore (although I would much prefer to see Mollie down there) with Ryan and Ashleigh hitting the road.

PS: Did Samantha Ronson’s remix of Easy Street make you want to stab someone or was that just us?

Quickies - Amazing Race, Mad Men, DH, HIMYM, Castle

Here's a quick sampling platter of our recent TV veiwing:

Amazing Race

Dammit Keri! Headed home this week were Lance and Keri. Thank god. They had gotten to the point of annoyance where I couldn’t even be amused by them any more. Ok, I laughed a little (maybe a lot) at the fact that they spent 90% of their time driving the wrong way up and down the highway. But then they were all too quick to remind us of why we hated them so much when Lance finished the water finding challenge and practically threw their stuff at the local clue giver while saying ''Have a spoon, have a ladle, have a nice life'' in a way that made my skin crawl. Peace out.

Side note to Ericka and Brian: you two are the only ones who care that you are an interracial couple. Enough with the “Ebony and Ivory” business!


Mad Men

Betty found Don’s box of super secrets. Not they best hiding spot in the world, Don – and a little careless with the keys! She sat up all night with the box ready to confront him about it, but he was too busy doing Sally’s former teacher. So she simply put the box away and pretended like nothing happened. That can’t be good. We don’t even know how she processed the information. There’s the divorce certificate from the real Don Draper’s wife and the deed to that house – so she’s pretty sure that he was married before and never told her. But what about all of the pictures of him labeled Dick?!?!?! Could she possibly be able to put that together too? Only time will tell.

Props to Sally for delivering a great “Geez Louise” to some of Betty’s awesome parenting, and to Paul Kinsey for kind of realizing that Peggy is advertising magic.

Desperate Housewives

Oh Julie, we called that you were sleeping with the Bolen dad on the first episode – I mean, you DO like your older men. When Susan find her diary and she only referred to her lover as “D.” we were like, “What the hell is the Bolen guy’s first name? The son is Danny, but it can’t be him . . .” and then when his wife called him “Nick” we were like, “So the ‘D’ is for . . . Dad . . . . Bolen?” It wasn’t until the shocking  entirely predictable ending that he showed up to her hospital bed and called himself “Dominic” that we knew it was him for sure. Whatever, I’m calling him “Dad Bolen” from now on.

Also in this episode, Katherine done gone crazy and Lynette’s pregnancy boobs are out of control!


How I Met Your Mother

Robin is in danger of getting deported because she hurt someone with a chair at the Hoser Hutt, so Barney helps her cram for an American citizenship exam. This goes pretty well until she ends up back at the Canadian bar that night and finds herself in Toronto in the morning. Despite Barney’s attempts to Americanize her, she is still a Canadian at heart. Sadly, she finds that she isn’t the same Canadian girl she used to be when a woman at Tim Horton’s mistakes her for an American when she doesn’t say please or thank you and didn’t watch the last night’s game. Alas she is a woman without a Country. Barney yells at Canada for being stupid enough to let women like Robin leave, and then gets the crap beaten out of him by a bunch of burley Canadian men (and possible children, and Robin a little).

Meanwhile Ted and Marshall embark upon a road trip like to used to in College. One snag – Lilly. She’s coming along to put a damper on their fun. There were some excellent moments over into his plot line as well, including the results of too much Tantrum, Kenny Roger’s narration of “Goodbye, Sparky”, and a flashback to the Fiero in full “And I would walk 500 miles” glory.

Top Quotes:

“There's kids playing hockey on the back. It's like you want us to make fun of you!” - Barney about Canada’s $5 bill.

“How do you know the Canadian citizenship test is easy?” – Robin
“It's Canada. Question one, do you want to be Canadian? Question two, really?” – Barney

“We were like Lewis and Clark, if Lewis and Clark peed in water bottles and had a bong made out of a cantaloupe.” – Ted

Castle

Just read that ABC picked it up for a full season! Woo hoo! Much like Becket and Castle learned that they were going to be stuck with eachother for a while in this weeks episode, we can rest assured that we have at least one more full season of Nathan Fillion on our TV. We realized watching this week’s episode that one of the reasons that they are so amusing together is that they are both so completely lacking in subtlety. They are blunt and emotional and competitive, and we love that. Keep on keeping on, Castle! Also, we are pretty sure that next week Castle dresses up like Captain Reynolds for Halloween (or at least it looked a lot like that in the quick preview). Nice. Then again, the promo pictures show him in a different outfit, so maybe out imaginations are just getting away from us. I prefer the first option.

And because I have no GIFs particularly relevant to any of these episodes yet, let's just take a moment to be excited for Wednesday night's shows, including Glee and Modern Family!

Quickies - HIMYM, Castle, Eastwick, House, DH

And now, some randomly ordered quickies:


How I Met Your Mother

Another great HIMYM, and it was super Barney/Robin-centric. We loved Barney’s classroom ADD – “Can we have class outside?” And as an added bonus Lilly totally said she has sex dreams about Robin. What what? I am very disappointed in the GIF-creating community that I don’t have anything to share from this episode yet. But, I can share with you this link to Barney’s blog to see his notes from class.


Castle

Not only do we love this show, but it turns out that the Neilson Families out there are starting to catch on too! The ratings are way up for this season, which is awesome and totally deserved. Now if only all of these people could start watching Dollhouse too while they’re at it. Another great episode, and next week’s episode looks hilarious, so keep an eye out!


Eastwick

We’re still really liking it. The plot is starting to pick-up in pace and we’re get a sense of the town’s past, which turns out to be chock full of Darryl. As a very special bonus, Cybil Shepherd showed up as someone we most certainly will be seeing again. Score!

House

House is back on the job – kind of. He basically just there to give input, but has no real authority since he doesn’t have his license back yet. Taub seems to have stuck his his word about quitting, since he was no where to be seen. 13, however, is still bouncing around in Foreman’s personal life. *Spoiler Alert* - she’ll definitely be back on the team once Cameron leaves later on in the season. James Earl Jones guest starred as an Evil dictator, who ends up basically being murdered by Chase. Our Geeky selves couldn’t stop giggling when he said “rebel”. I can’t believe Chase killed Darth Vader. On the home front, House has clearly been watching too much Dexter during his recovery. He broke into his Vietnam vet neighbor’s apartment, shot him up with drugs, duct taped him to a chair, and . . . cured the guy of his phantom arm pain? Ummm, thanks?

Desperate Housewives

Well Julie looks like she’s going to pull through, and she’s not pregnant (which apparently was a worry?), so that’s good. They’ve already arrested the new kid for her strangling, which of course means he didn’t do it – that’s way too obvious, right? I’m seriously loving Bree and the fact that she’s basically hoping for Julie to wake up with brain damage or memory loss (so that she doesn’t remember seeing Bree and Carl making out hardcore next to her coma bed). Also, I take this is a sign that Gabby should be paying a little more attention to her actual children – especially this one that we never see:

How I Met Your Mother ~ Double Date

Well, we’re all caught up on TV, but again we’re way behind on blogging! Here’s one more to check off the list!

How I Met Your Mother

This week Ted found himself on a hauntingly familiar blind date. It turned out that he had been on that exact same date with the same girl seven years earlier. Neither of them remembered the other until part way through the date when Ted made a pun about sharing oysters (“because if you didn't, that would be shellfish.”). She remembers that he was snobby, and he remembers that she dresses up her cats in weird costumes (what? Took likes to wear that tie, we swear!).

"We've done a complete lap of all the single people in New York, only to end up back here with each other." – Ted

They decide to retrace the steps of that first date so that they could learn from their mistakes and not end up on another blind date 7 years in the future. It turns out that she talked too much about her ex-boyfriend and her cats, and she didn’t do the check-dance at the end of the date. Ted, however, made fun of spelling errors in the menu, made bad puns, didn’t offer her his jacket when she was freezing, came off as a player (she thought he was checking out another girl, but he was actually checking out Mustache Marshal – more on that later), and he didn’t call her after the date. They imagine what could have happened if all those little annoyances had gone differently, including a wedding with cats dressed as bride’s maids, and this:

They decided that it was all for the best, because let’s face it – Ted likes pointing out typos and making puns, and she will always talk about her cats. They’ll hold out for finding someone who likes their quirks, not settle for someone who tolerates him.

Meanwhile, Barney tricks Marshal into coming to the strip club with him (he tells him they’re going to the Origins of Chewbacca "Star Wars" exhibit). Marshal says that he can’t fantasize about other women without feeling guilty. So first he has to set-up an elaborate fantasy of Lily dying of a rare but “medically legitimate” hiccup condition. Marshal vows to be the wingman of Marshal’s mind and tells him to put Lily completely out of his mind as he watches the next stripper. Easier said than done – the stripped looks exactly like Lily.

“I'm going to make Marshall watch as I wedge Ulysses S. Grant between his wife's tatas." - Barney

Later they find Lily and Robin at the bar to tell them they have found “the third doppelganger.” Voice-over Ted explains that they had found Lesbian Robin, Mustache Marshal, and now Stripper Lily. We’re told that they find the other two doppelgangers later that summer. While Lily finds this “awesome”, Robin is less than pleased that Barney was at a strip club. Marshal also admits to Lily that in order to fantasize about other women he needs to pretend she’s tragically died. Lily said it was fine to fantasize, but “don’t kill me off!” The four of them make their way to the strip club together and Lily is very excited to see her stripper self. She even buys herself and Marshal some private time with Stripper Lily. Robin, however, is less than pleased with how well everyone at the strip club knows Barney. Robin doesn’t like this whole strip club thing one bit, and they’re going to need to seriously talk about it. Awwww, like a real couple of something! Nice!

This post was brought to you by Lesbian Robin

HIMYM ~ Season Premier

We're mostly up to date on TV, but sadly not up to date on blogging about it. Le sigh.

How I met Your Mother came back on Monday, and it rocked our socks as per usual. We got some great Barney/Robin moments (squee!) and lots of second hand embarrassment courtesy of Ted. A+ all around.

Ted is about to start his teaching job. The gang get him an Indiana Jones hat and whip (“Yeah, I have a whip guy” – Barney) which they take into the alley to play with. They have a convenient dummy set up with a cigarette in his mouth (“Tell him to ‘whip’ the habit! – Marshall), but as we see moments later, Ted has a lot to learn about the finer points of whip aiming. Poor Marshall.

Robin and Barney have spent all summer keeping their relationship sex secret from the group, but are discovered making out, much to Lily’s delight. However, they refuse to admit that they are dating, and haven’t had “the talk” to define their relationship. So far this has led to a lot of confusion and even violence when Barney punches Robin’s date at a hockey game. (“I'm always punching guys, girls, I'll even punch a baby, I don't care” – Barney).

While Ted is off at his first day (more on that in a moment), Lily and Marshall take it upon themselves to force Barney and Robin into having the talk by locking them in Robin’s bedroom. Lily refuses to let them out until they have slipped a note under the door that defines their relationship to Lily’s satisfaction. They have some failed attempts (“We’re just seeing where this is going”) which were shot down by Lily, punctuated by Marshall with a loud crack of the whip (“NOT GOOD ENOUGH” – Marshal). Robin and Barney decide that they are both bad at relationships, but they are good at lying. So they tell Lily that they are going to be boyfriend and girlfriend. He says Robin is awesome, and she says Barney looks great in a suit, and our hearts melt because you know that they’re telling the truth, even if they don’t. Lily is satisfied, frees them from the bedroom (“GOOD ENOUGH” – Marshall with a loud crack of the whip). They leave hand in hand walking down the street on the way to grab brunch. When Ted points out to Lily that they were lying she responds, “No, they don't realize that they weren't lying,” and our hearts melt a little more.

Throughout all of this we have been seeing Ted’s first day of teaching. He had been having recurring nightmares, which were spurred on by Ted not knowing what kind of teacher he should be – cool guy, or serious teacher. He spends so much time worrying about what kind of professor he’ll be that he forgets one vital thing: how the word professor is spelled. Ted stood at the chalk board slowly writing “PROF”, pauses, adds an “F”, looks around the class room to dead faces and one girl slowly shaking her head, and then changes that “F” to an “E”, receiving a small nod from that girl. We died.

Ted still hasn’t decided what type of Professor to be, so he has a split personality moment. “I’m Professor Mosby . . . but you can call me Ted . . . . Professor Mosby . . . . T-Dawg . . . . do NOT call me T-Dawg.” Finally, when a girl raises her hand, he decides to go with serious teacher and says that all questions should wait until the end of the lecture. That was an unfortunate choice, because she was going to tell him that he was in the wrong classroom.

The second hand embarrassment was almost unbearable, in the most delicious way possible. He went on for seven minutes about the glory of architecture, despite repeated clues that something was amiss. Finally the actual professor arrives, convinces Ted that he is in the wrong classroom, and Ted begins his run across the campus with the Indiana Jones theme playing in the background. The good thing to come out of this was that being 20 minutes late for his class forced him to just be natural and normal when he finally got there – he didn’t have time to over-think everything, and came off much less douchey, we are to believe. And somewhere – either in the economics class or Ted’s architecture class (now I’m not so sure which) is the Mother, we are told. So one step closer!