Minicaps: DH, Amazing Race, Castle, HIMYM, SYTYCD

It’s sad but true that we are still behind on TV, but here’s a quick run through of some of our viewing for this week so far including Desperate Housewives, Amazing Race, Castle, HIMYM, and SYTYCD.

Desperate Housewives

We’re just going to go ahead and call it – RIP Karl. That’s the major death we’re putting our money on. We’re also going with Lynette having a miscarriage from saving Celia. We all together on that? Okay. We’ll check in after the next new episode which will be a misleading fantasy episode showing us some fake futures.

PS: I’ve just awarded Desperate Housewives 50 bonus points for naming this episode “Boom Crunch.”


Amazing Race

Meghan and Cheyne won it all, which wasn’t particularly shocking but was entirely satisfying. Anyone else ready to punch Ericka in the face by the time they were two seconds into the cirque du soleil challenge? And we were so impressed with her when she repelled down the side of that building with little to no complaining! So congrats to Meghan and Cheyne! You got the million dollars plus a whole mess of prizes from coming in first so many times. And you probably won’t break-up the second you get him, so that’s an added bonus!

Castle

Girl’s hair is finally getting less mullety, and that alone is worth a mention. On to the actual episode. Usually when we are able to recognize a guest star on shows like this we are pretty safe to say that they are involved in whatever murder/crime we are investigating (meaning, they did it!) but this week really threw us for a loop. We had:

Rider Strong

 Riley

and Cut Throat

so our minds pretty much overloaded with possibilities. Then it turned out to be some random assistant that we didn’t recognize at all! What a rip! Rider Strong has done this to us before (see his episode of Bones where he was a giant creeper red herring), but we expected more from you Riley and Cut Throat!

HIMYM

So Maggie, the girl who Ted and the rest of man kind  were all trying to get with was very familiar. Of course she’s been on Gossip Girl, Privileged, Reba, Freaks and Geeks and a whole mess of other stuff that I can place her in even though I never really watched. But just now I scroller threw her imdb and had my mind blown by her 37 episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark?. Old school (season 3 and on). Now that I know she was Sam in the Midnight Society I totally get it, Ted.

Barney had some good stuff with his overalls challenge, and Robin was great at foiling him and throwing herself at Maggie’s friend, but the real star of this episode totally had to be past Marshal, with a future Marshal as a close runner up.

Dear Future Me,

First off, you'd better be driving either a kick-ass Camaro or the A-Team van. That's priority numero uno. And by now your rattail should hang down to your frickin' knees. You can still slam-dunk, obviously. And you've legally changed your name to "Vanilla Thunder." Your wife, let me break it down: blonde, six feet tall, has an awesome rack and caters to your every need.

(“Sorry, babe." "That's okay. You just described your mother.")

You're still rocking the stone-washed overalls, because this look is working. Oh, and most importantly, you'd better be saving the world. If you became some lame, corporate sellout? Just throw yourself off a cliff, because you suck. And I? Licky boom-boom down.

SYTYCD

Poor Russel, having his partner taken away due to an injury the day of the performance for the second time! Is he cursed or sabotaging? Hmmmm. Sorry Ashleigh. Me thinks it might be best for you and Ryan to go home together this week. If Kathryn is in the bottom again I then I seriously don’t get America. If she and Jacob don’t make it to the finale there will be hell to pay. My guesses for the bottom 2 guys and girls: Ryan, Russell, Ashleigh and Ellenore (although I would much prefer to see Mollie down there) with Ryan and Ashleigh hitting the road.

PS: Did Samantha Ronson’s remix of Easy Street make you want to stab someone or was that just us?

FOXy Thursday: Bones and Fringe

Bones ~ The Gamer in the Grease

Here’s my beef with this week’s episode of Bones. The entire B-plot centered around Hodgins, Sweets, and Fisher (the depressed and apparent sex-god intern of the week) taking turns camping out for Avatar. Surrounded by people with painted blue faces and costumes. Seriously? NO ONE is going to be camping for Avatar. I know you guys are clearly being paid a lot of sponsor money to make us think we need to rush out and get our tickets in advance (BTW, there is no way we are seeing this movie), and that the actor who plays Fisher is apparently in it – so good for him, but there is no way we can take that seriously.

Also I felt bad for Cam this episode. It seems like she had nothing to do but run around and try to find people, or get stuck in the middle of Bones’ and Booth’s discussion on what should be considered a sporting event.

Oh and the flesh sliding off the body in the beginning was seriously nasty. And yet it didn’t gross us out half as much as the giant worm parasite on Fringe.

Fringe ~ Snakehead

Oh man those worms creeped me out. Nasty. When that thing started coming out of that poor Chinese guy’s mouth in the beginning I was totally ready to vomit. ICK! While the case was interesting and all, the really relevant parts of the episode revolved around Walter who wanted to be treated like an adult and was insisting on his independence. Unfortunately he found out that he wasn’t ready for such a big step. When he got separated from Astrid he forgot Peter’s phone number (and forgotten that he had a cord with all the contact info), and used up all of his spare change trying to call for help. And then he cried on the bus stop with that old Chinese lady who didn’t understand a thing he was saying, but she was kind enough to take him home and eventually got in contact with Peter. Broke our little hearts. And when he found out Astrid had be followed and hurt because of him and he saw her again back at the lab with blood on her shirt and tears in her eyes – I can’t even handle it. Love them so much. Luckily for all involved Walter implanted a tracking chip in his neck so that it wouldn’t happen again. Awwwww.

Here’s your observer sighting and glyph for the week:

Glee ~ Mattress

The fake-baby-bump really hit the fan this week, didn’t it? Terri’s lies are all exposed, Will’s marriage is in shambles, Glee kids continue to get harassed, mattresses are fun to jump on, Emma is still marrying Ken, and Will can’t go with the kids to sectionals because he slept on a gifted mattress. That about covers it, right?

Will and Terri’s confrontation was intense, no? Still, even with all of the horrible things she’s done, I can’t help feel a little bad for Terri. What is wrong with me?

Quotes and Gifs:

“Of course the wedding was going to be in Hawaii, but then they told me I couldn't bring my own fruit.'' ~ Emma

“Ken has a lot of flaws. He has 74 flaws as of yesterday.” ~ Emma

“Sometimes things sound a lot different coming from a peer, even if that peer is as annoying as Rachel.” ~ Emma

“While they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn't using them.” ~ Sue

“You three are boring me now. I'm gonna go do something else.” ~ Sue

“I can't be co-captain. No time. Kwanza!” ~ Mercedes

“Aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business.” ~ Rachel

“All I want is just one day a year when I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties.” ~ Sue

“The guys said if I took the Glee club photo, they'd make me choose between a Hitler mustache and buck teeth. And I can't rock either of those looks.” ~ Finn

''There's a stack of mattresses in the choir room piled as high as the empty hair gel bottles in the dumpster outside your apartment!'' ~ Sue

“What if I were to innocently murder you, Will? I'd still have to go to trial. I'd still probably get off for justifiable homicide.” ~ Sue

“You're too busy chasing tail and loading your hail with enormous amounts of product. Today, it just looks like you put lard in it.” ~ Sue

8 Reasons To Be Thankful This Season

Thanksgiving is upon us! Tomorrow we’ll be gathered around the TV hoping there are no balloons going rogue, stuffing ourselves full of food, and reflecting on the many things in our lives we have to be thankful for. So in lieu of your regularly scheduled blogging this week I thought I would take some time to reflect on some of the things we are thankful for this television season.


Izzie who?

This year we have been blessed with a wonderful present – a practically Izzie-less Grey’s Anatomy. While she’s been off filming movies and spending time with her newly adopted daughter, we been able to enjoy Grey’s ever so much more. Even better news? She’s taking another hiatus immediately after her brief return for a belated “maternity leave.” Know who I bet would like a longer maternity leave? Ellen Pompeo who just pooped out a baby for realz. Take your time, Katherine Heigl. Grey’s is doing just fine better without you.

Glee

I still can’t quite believe Fox did it. They managed to make a television show about a glee club which features multiple musical numbers per episode into a critical and financial success. Somewhere Cop Rock is crying in their TV grave.

Nathan Fillion on our TV

We are ecstatic that Castle is doing well in the ratings department. It’s a fabulous little show that keeps getting stronger and stronger. Anything that keeps Nathan Fillion consistently on our television sets is something to be thankful for in our book. Now come on Castle – throw us a bone. Get Becket a hair cut. That mullet gots to go.

I see gay people

Holy moly, look at all of those gay characters on network TV! Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, FlashForward, Ugly Betty, Modern Family, Brothers and Sisters, all featuring gay characters in regular or recurring roles.

SYTYCD ~ Fall edition

While it’s true we sometimes curse this 6th season of So You Think You Can Dance for airing so close to the previous season that it’s difficult to look at these dancers with fresh eyes. We also miss it being the highlight of our week like it is during the summer versus another show on the pile of programming we have to get through during the fall. Even with all that, it’s impossible not to be thankful for Cat, Shankers, Mary and Nigel and all of the dancers (except Mollie and Nathan – they can GTFO).

Double the Joel, double the fun

Thanks to Community and The Soup we now have Joel McHale gracing our television sets two times a week. Now if only we could find a way to sneak him in on the Saturday through Wednesday. Oh, and just for fun:

Ghosts of television yet to come

Looking to the future we have so much to be thankful for that we might as well start early. Lost is premiering on February 2nd in the Tuesday at 9:00pm time slot. Us old ladies like that – 10:00pm was ridiculous. Chuck is returning January 10th (a full 2 months earlier than originally scheduled). Warehouse 13 is coming back for a second season, but we wish we didn’t have to wait until the summer for it!

It’s what makes time travel possible AKA 2 dual recoding DVRs

What kind of people would we be if we didn’t acknowledge the hardest working members of our household – our DVRs. Where would we be without you? Take Thursday nights, for example, when we are recording 7 TV shows in a two hour period. Woof!

What are you thankful for this season?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Go stuff yourselves!

Glee ~ Ballad

This week we got a peak of unrequited love to various degrees of heartbreak and hilarity. We focused on Rachel’s temporary school girl crush on Will, Kurt’s never-gonna-happen love for Finn, Finn’s love for his Baby that he’s never going to know, a dash of Puck’s feelings for Quinn and the baby, plus a little Emma loves Will action. We also got some baby drama out of the way when Finn’s Mom and Quinn’s parents all got the news broken to them. Surprise surprise, Quinn’s parents freaked out. Will’s mother took it quite well though. Guest starring this week as the crazy Suzy Pepper who suffered a horrible case of Mr. Schue-itis was Sarah Drew aka Kitty from Mad Men who recently popped up on Grey’s Anatomy as well. I was darn impressed with myself when I was able to place her.

No Sue this week, or Figgins, but still a solid episode. Also our deep love and appreciation for Bangs aka Brittany continues to grow.

Quotes and a whole mess of GIFS (I hit the motherload!):

“Ballad. Who knows what this word means?” ~ Will
“It's a male duck.” ~ Brittany

''I bet the duck's in the hat.' ~ Brittany

''I could totally sing this song with Finn, but screw him if he thinks he's taking the Diana Ross part from me.'' ~ Kurt

''I love the days when I don't wear underwear. Full commando.'' ~ Puck

“Crap, she looks crazy right now. I know this look.” ~ Will

“If we were to rank crushable teachers in this school, you'd be number-one with a bullet.” ~ Emma to Will

“Yes, it means I'm very young and it's hard for you to stand close to me.” ~ Rachel after Will’s Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close To Me mashup.

''Your lashing out at me is fantastically compelling and inappropriate.'' ~ Kurt

''Let me tell you a few things I learned from two years of intense psychotherapy and an esophagus transplant . . . .We're both mildly attractive and extremely grating. Love is hard for us. We look for boys we know we can never have. Mr. Schue is a perfect target for our self-esteem issues . . . . Trust me, I'm a cautionary tale.'' ~ Suzy Pepper to Rachel

''I don't know why I find his stupidity charming. I mean, he's cheating off a girl who thinks the square root of 4 is rainbows.'' ~ Kurt about Finn and Brittany

''I have to go — they'll think I'm pooping,'' ~ Finn on the phone with Kurt

The Other Asian?

She's a cautionary tale. Would Rachel have OD'd on berries?

Bangs attacks Rachel with HUGS!

Trust fall to Other Asian and Bangs? Bold choice.

Bangs has gone crazy!

Call me!

No seriously, call me.