TV Blind Dates ~ Part 1

Courtney is out of town for a few days and new episodes from this week’s programming will wait patiently in the DVRs for her return. So in the interest of satisfying my own boredom I have put together this little time waster.

With the aid of an extremely handy online secret santa name drawing tool I have randomly put together 15 TV Blind Dates featuring some of our favorite characters. Ignoring current (or potential) romantic entanglements, as well as geographical and temporal barriers specific to their respective shows, let’s see show these characters match up! Here are our first five match-ups!


Temperance Brennan (Bones) and Mark Sloan (Grey’s Anatomy)

Common Ground: They are both doctors, and are extremely good looking. They are fans of sex without romantic entanglements. They are neither humble nor shy, and both are well off financially.

Possible Conflicts: Brennan’s literal way of thinking may become a bit tiresome to Mark, who is a fan of obscure references and insinuation. Mark may be a little too smug for Brennan’s tastes.

At the end of the date: 87% probability of a one night stand. 7% chance of a second date.




Sue Sylvester (Glee) and Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)

Common Ground: Phil was a cheerleader in college, so that should give them plenty to talk about. Plus they are both remarkably tall.

Possible Conflicts: Phil is much too weak of a man for Sue. She would destroy him physically and emotionally. But it sure would be fun to watch, right?

At the end of the date: 99% chance that Sue says “You think this is hard? Try __________. That’s Hard!”, 10% chance of this happening in a sexual circumstance.




Callie Torres (Grey’s Anatomy) and Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)

Common Ground: They both have mighty fine singing voices (well, Sara does if Callie doesn’t). They both like the ladies, so they could always talk about that. Whenever Barney gets something broken by a jealous boyfriend or a particularly strong lady conquest, Callie could patch him right up.

Possible Conflicts: Callie’s more of a relationship kind of person. Also, I’m going to go ahead and call her mostly gay nowadays. Barney just came out of a real relationship with Robin, so he’s definitely going to be playing the field for a while.

At the end of the date: 0% chance of a second date, but Callie might be up to being his occasional wingman (wingwoman . . . winglady . . . whichever).




Olivia Dunham (Fringe) and Seeley Booth (Bones)

Common Ground: They are both highly skilled FBI agents (sometimes Olivia is classified as DHS, it’s so hard to keep track). They both look good in suits. They each spend a significant amount of their work day around dead bodies. They are both willing to bend the rules a little if it’s the right thing to do. Olivia is good with kids, so visits with Parker would go smoothly.

Possible Conflicts: Olivia’s work in the Fringe division lends itself to secrecy and government cover-ups, both of which Booth has major issues with.

At the end of the date: 67% chance that at least one of them will get called in to work before the date ends. Possibility of a second date, 25%.




Juliet Burke (Lost) and Gregory House (House)

Common Ground: They are both doctors. House would probably be able to figure out that pesky island pregnancy problem, but sending his team to break into the island’s apartment would probably prove tricky. They both command authority, and at first glance it’s difficult to tell whether they are a good or bad guy.

Possible Conflict: Juliet would put up with a certain amount of name calling and sarcasm (she was with Sawyer after all), but eventually he’d go too far and she would be forced to kick his ass.

At the end of the date: Likelihood that Juliet puts up with House for an entire date, only 35%.

Glee ~ Sectionals

We’ve known that this was coming for a while now, but still . . really, FOX? You’re making us wait until April for new episodes? I still can’t wrap my brain around this. Stupid American Idol. Well, at least they were good enough to give us one hell of a “fall finale” to tide us over. This episode really tied up all of the loose ends from this half of the season, and in a way that didn’t feel too forced or rushed. Well played, folks. In fact, if Glee hadn’t been picked up past their original 13 episode order (can you imagine?), it would have even made a passable series ending. So I applaud their foresight. However, if we are stuck with this split season crap next year (which wouldn’t surprise me) I will pitch a fit.

Moving on to the actual episode, there was so much to love! Emma and Will's kiss at the end was wonderful and so fulfilling. It made my little fan girl heart squee and reminded us that these two are H-O-T hot together (flash back to the chalk-on-nose scene if you need a reminder). Also, I love that she ended up taking the kids to Sectionals and that she got all hardcore on the cheater teachers from the other school.

Rachel caught on to the Puck/Finn/Quinn baby daddy drama (props to her for being the only one to actually figure it out on her own!) and revealed the secret to Finn, who consequently beat the crap out of Puck and quit Glee Club right before sectionals. Oh No! What will they do? Don’t worry, a rousing “sometimes it sucks to be special” speech from Will later on in the episode will send him off to save the day (in Will’s car, nonetheless). Is this the beginning of a new Finn? Or as the EW recap termed it, the end of Finnocence? Side note: Quinn is going to be like gigantically pregnant by the time Regionals rolls around, isn’t she?

Could the judging panel for sectionals have beeen any more awesome? Candace Dystra — 5th-runner up Miss Ohio 2006 (Oh hey there, Mrs. Newlin!), news anchor Rod Remington (who broke Sue’s little heart – emphasis on the little), and Donna Landries (disgruntled Ohio Vice Comptroller who hadn’t heard the term show choir until 3 hours earlier when her boss forced her to fill in for him). That room was pretty much full of win.

Can you believe that Figgins actually stood up to Sue and suspended her? You go, sir! Of course now Sue is filled with more hatred and rage than ever, which can only mean awesomeness for the viewing audience.

How cute was their last number when they did little dance tributes to all of the performances from season so far? I need to watch that about 10 more times to fully process everything.

And yes, Brittany did actually just semi-out her and Santana . . . so that happened? We're hoping that wasn’t just some throw away line, because it sure got a lot of people’s attention!

Okay, that’s enough rambling. On to what we are all really here for – Quotes and GIFS!!!!

“I say we lock Rachel up until after sectionals. I volunteer my basement.” ~ Kurt

''Sex is not dating. ~ Santana
''If it were, Santana and I would be dating.'' ~ Brittany

''She's the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker.'' ~ Brittany about Emma

“I can't wait to see you sing that song at Sectionals. You're amazing, Mercedes, and you deserve it. I'm going to hug you now.” ~ Rachel

''We just pushed it back a few hours. Now it doesn't have to happen in broad daylight.'' ~ Emma about her wedding.

''I fully understand if you want to be beat me up. If you can just try to avoid my nose.'' ~ Rachel

''The kids are completely freaking out, Artie keeps ramming himself into the wall, and I'm pretty sure that Jacob Ben Israel just wet himself.” ~ Emma

''Bring it on, William. I am reasonably confident that you will be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at. Right next to being married... running a high school glee club, and finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian. Love you like a sister.'' ~ Sue, ending by kissing her fingers, and bringing them to Will’s lips.

''Oh, what happened to the white guy with the Jheri curl?'' ~ Eve (whatever her character was named).

“Okay. I'm just gonna come out and say it. This is a singing competition. I don't know how those deaf kids got in. They weren't singing, they were like honking and everyone was crying and I was like, ‘Get off the stage. You're terrible and you're making me super uncomfortable.’” ~ Candace Dystra (judge)

''I don't understand what a glee club is, and I have never even heard the term show choir until about three hours ago, when my boss told me he had tickets to NASCAR and I had to fill in at this fool event.'' ~ Donna Landries (judge)

''Really, one blink from you, Will, and I would have been out the door.” ~ Emma

''Get ready for the ride of your life, Will Schuester — you are about to board the Sue Sylvester Express. Destination: HORROR!'' ~ Sue

(Sorry about the completely random order of the GIFS)

Glee ~ Mattress

The fake-baby-bump really hit the fan this week, didn’t it? Terri’s lies are all exposed, Will’s marriage is in shambles, Glee kids continue to get harassed, mattresses are fun to jump on, Emma is still marrying Ken, and Will can’t go with the kids to sectionals because he slept on a gifted mattress. That about covers it, right?

Will and Terri’s confrontation was intense, no? Still, even with all of the horrible things she’s done, I can’t help feel a little bad for Terri. What is wrong with me?

Quotes and Gifs:

“Of course the wedding was going to be in Hawaii, but then they told me I couldn't bring my own fruit.'' ~ Emma

“Ken has a lot of flaws. He has 74 flaws as of yesterday.” ~ Emma

“Sometimes things sound a lot different coming from a peer, even if that peer is as annoying as Rachel.” ~ Emma

“While they were in there, I told them to go ahead and yank out those tear ducts. Wasn't using them.” ~ Sue

“You three are boring me now. I'm gonna go do something else.” ~ Sue

“I can't be co-captain. No time. Kwanza!” ~ Mercedes

“Aside from nudity and the exploitation of animals, I'll pretty much do anything to break into the business.” ~ Rachel

“All I want is just one day a year when I'm not visually assaulted by uglies and fatties.” ~ Sue

“The guys said if I took the Glee club photo, they'd make me choose between a Hitler mustache and buck teeth. And I can't rock either of those looks.” ~ Finn

''There's a stack of mattresses in the choir room piled as high as the empty hair gel bottles in the dumpster outside your apartment!'' ~ Sue

“What if I were to innocently murder you, Will? I'd still have to go to trial. I'd still probably get off for justifiable homicide.” ~ Sue

“You're too busy chasing tail and loading your hail with enormous amounts of product. Today, it just looks like you put lard in it.” ~ Sue