Bones ~ The Dentist in the Ditch

A gay football playing dentist, civil war reenactors, spiders, rhubarb, and love – this episode had it all! Well, at least it had all of those things, which I think is pretty impressive. Let’s break this episode down a little differently this week, shall we?

The Case

The remains were found by a couple of bickering civil war reenactors who impressed Brennan with their unexpected knowledge of the soil and geological conditions which caused the body to be incased in hard red clay. The body turned out to belong to a dentist, who turned out to be gay. It also turned out that he was a football player on an all gay team. There were various red herrings along the way with fairly reasonable motives for murder: a bitter ex boyfriend; a possibly disgruntled ex-employee; a member of an opposing team whom he fought with (turned out that they were secret lovers). In a classic Bones move, the killer turned out to be the first person we met, a schlubby contractor whom the victim caught reselling paving tile that he had paid for. The murder was accidental, but the cover-up – not so much. To jail with you sir!

The Lab

The drama/comic relief in the lab this week revolved around one of our favorite interns, Vincent Nigel-Murray, desperately trying to earn a word of praise from Brennan. Despite some excellent creative thinking to clean the bones (Rhubarb bath!) he just couldn’t seem to get an approving word out of her. We haven’t seen her this obliviously cold to an intern since Zach’s early days, or the very beginning of the era of rotating interns. Hodgins even tried to set him up for praise:

Hodgins: Do you know what Vincent Nigel-Murray is? He's a genius.
Brennan: Yes, but so are we all. Except for Angela.
Angela: Oh, right, and yet who do you turn to when you need pretty pictures?

Eventually Cam got through to her and Brennan threw a “good job” his way, which made him down right giddy. An approving smile from her later in the episode had the same effect.

This week in the lab we also learned that Cam hates spiders:

Hodgins: Are you okay there, Dr. Saroyan?
Cam: I'm just itchy all over. I'm gonna go burn all of these clothes and maybe my hair.

And that Vincent Nigel-Murray is a sexy beast:

Vincent: If I had killed everyone who looked at me lustily I wouldn't have made it out of school.

The Heart of the Matter

Hehe, see what I did there? I took the name of Sweets’ study and made it a plot category! Ain’t I clever? Anyway, Jared Booth returned this week and brought a girlfriend/soon-to-be fiancé (Padme) with him. Booth being the overprotective brother that he his ran a background check on this girl and discovered that she was an escort. When questioned by Brennan about this, he said he did it because he cares about Jared. She asked if he runs a background check on everyone that she goes out on a date with. If he doesn’t already, he probably should. I mean seriously, there have been a couple of murders mixed in there!

Booth tells Jared about Padme’s past and Jared is really pissed that he ran the background check, and storms out. Everyone is pretty much on team Jared on this one. Bones is having a serious crisis of logic because she can’t understand why Booth would encourage her to have a relationship with her father even though he killed a man, but cannot approve of Jared dating a reformed escort. In the end it turns out that Jared always knew about Padme’s past, and that she knows about his. They are going to get married and Booth will be the best man. So the mysterious wedding couple spoiler that has been bopping around the internet these last few weeks is finally revealed! Brennan then decides to make a toast, because (as Booth explains) that is kind of her new thing and she’s pretty good at it.

Brennan: When Booth and I first met, I didn't believe that such a thing as love existed. I maintained that it was simply brain chemistry, but perhaps Booth is correct. Perhaps love comes first and creates the reaction. I have no tangible proof, but I'm willing to accept Booth's premise.
Booth: To love.
Jared: To love.
Padme: To love.
Brennan: To love.

And these fangirls’ hearts melted with joy.

PS: I don’t think we’ve had a good old fashioned “Brennan stares at bones alone while some hip music plays until she sees something no one else could possible find” moment since the first season. Possibly even the first episode! Was this a nice throwback, or a little too jarring?

TV Blind Dates ~ Part 1

Courtney is out of town for a few days and new episodes from this week’s programming will wait patiently in the DVRs for her return. So in the interest of satisfying my own boredom I have put together this little time waster.

With the aid of an extremely handy online secret santa name drawing tool I have randomly put together 15 TV Blind Dates featuring some of our favorite characters. Ignoring current (or potential) romantic entanglements, as well as geographical and temporal barriers specific to their respective shows, let’s see show these characters match up! Here are our first five match-ups!


Temperance Brennan (Bones) and Mark Sloan (Grey’s Anatomy)

Common Ground: They are both doctors, and are extremely good looking. They are fans of sex without romantic entanglements. They are neither humble nor shy, and both are well off financially.

Possible Conflicts: Brennan’s literal way of thinking may become a bit tiresome to Mark, who is a fan of obscure references and insinuation. Mark may be a little too smug for Brennan’s tastes.

At the end of the date: 87% probability of a one night stand. 7% chance of a second date.




Sue Sylvester (Glee) and Phil Dunphy (Modern Family)

Common Ground: Phil was a cheerleader in college, so that should give them plenty to talk about. Plus they are both remarkably tall.

Possible Conflicts: Phil is much too weak of a man for Sue. She would destroy him physically and emotionally. But it sure would be fun to watch, right?

At the end of the date: 99% chance that Sue says “You think this is hard? Try __________. That’s Hard!”, 10% chance of this happening in a sexual circumstance.




Callie Torres (Grey’s Anatomy) and Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)

Common Ground: They both have mighty fine singing voices (well, Sara does if Callie doesn’t). They both like the ladies, so they could always talk about that. Whenever Barney gets something broken by a jealous boyfriend or a particularly strong lady conquest, Callie could patch him right up.

Possible Conflicts: Callie’s more of a relationship kind of person. Also, I’m going to go ahead and call her mostly gay nowadays. Barney just came out of a real relationship with Robin, so he’s definitely going to be playing the field for a while.

At the end of the date: 0% chance of a second date, but Callie might be up to being his occasional wingman (wingwoman . . . winglady . . . whichever).




Olivia Dunham (Fringe) and Seeley Booth (Bones)

Common Ground: They are both highly skilled FBI agents (sometimes Olivia is classified as DHS, it’s so hard to keep track). They both look good in suits. They each spend a significant amount of their work day around dead bodies. They are both willing to bend the rules a little if it’s the right thing to do. Olivia is good with kids, so visits with Parker would go smoothly.

Possible Conflicts: Olivia’s work in the Fringe division lends itself to secrecy and government cover-ups, both of which Booth has major issues with.

At the end of the date: 67% chance that at least one of them will get called in to work before the date ends. Possibility of a second date, 25%.




Juliet Burke (Lost) and Gregory House (House)

Common Ground: They are both doctors. House would probably be able to figure out that pesky island pregnancy problem, but sending his team to break into the island’s apartment would probably prove tricky. They both command authority, and at first glance it’s difficult to tell whether they are a good or bad guy.

Possible Conflict: Juliet would put up with a certain amount of name calling and sarcasm (she was with Sawyer after all), but eventually he’d go too far and she would be forced to kick his ass.

At the end of the date: Likelihood that Juliet puts up with House for an entire date, only 35%.

Bones ~ The Proof in the Pudding

Do we think it’s a coincidence that this JFK-assassination-conspiracy-centric episode aired following the X-Files themed episode which prominently featured Dean Haglund who played conspiracy nut Langly on both the X-Files and its spinoff, The Lone Gunman? Or was it an incredibly clever ploy to get X-File fans who may have tuned in just for last week’s episode to hang around? Both? Either way, what a fun episode!

Cam, Angela, Hodgins, Sweets, and Brennan are essentially held hostage in the lab by mysterious government agents who order them to identify the cause of death of a set of bones, but they are not allowed to take any samples from the bones, or do anything that would harm the samples they are provided. Although they are told to not try and identify the victim, evidence quickly begins to pile up that suggests these are the remains of JFK.

Meanwhile, Booth had moonwalked his way out of the lab (literally) just before the lock down and spends a significant amount of time trying to break back in. Finally he makes it past the guards (he walks really quietly), fails to pry open the door, and shoots threw the glass. He and Brennan happily call out to each other just before Booth is tackled by to very large men. Ouch. That one hurt.

The team begins to realize that the evidence points towards there being a second shooter. Despite and elaborate set-up and display of Booth’s awesome sniper skills, the bones reveal that an exit wound is actually an entrance wound, so it had to be two shots from two different locations. Therefore the bones couldn’t be JFK’s, in Booth’s mind, because that would mean that the government covered it up. This is something that Booth, a man who has given his life to the government and sniped almost fifty people under their orders, refuses to believe.

In the great action scene of the night, Booth manages to single handedly take out all of the agents, while Brennan ran away to throw a couple of bones into some chocolate pudding . . . which was conveniently laying around. A sample bone from a different set of remains sunk in the pudding, but the top secret bone floated. This meant that the remains suffered from a disease that JFK was not known to have. Therefore, Brennan tells Booth, these are not JKF’s remains. Later on Cam mentions to Brennan that JFK suffered from Scarlet Fever as a child, and that it could have caused the disease that those remains suffered from. She already knew this. So basically, Brennan covered up the truth (which would have been known only to them, since there would be no way of letting that information go public) to protect Booth. Cue fangirl squee.

Also happening in this episode, Cam found a positive pregnancy test in a bathroom and spends half of the episode freaking out because she thinks it is Michelle’s. The test turned out to be Angela’s. Hodgins tells her that he would be there for her and do anything that she needed, even though the baby is Wendell’s (whom she is dating). In the end we find that the test turned out to be a false positive, but Hodgins’ offer is not going to be forgotten anytime soon. It’s just a matter of time before those crazy kinds get back together.

We also had Diedrich Bader return as Booth’s boss who attempts to help him from the outside. I find it so hard to look at him and not see both Oswald from The Drew Carey Show and Jethro from the Beverly Hillbillies. So it’s a good thing his character isn’t meant to be taken seriously here, because I wouldn’t be able to manage. Despite his attempts to be the big hero and rescue them all, he shows up about ten seconds after Booth had subdued all of the guards. As he admitted, Booth sure makes it hard for him to look good around Brennan, whom he clearly still has a thing for.


So what did you think of this week’s episode? Were those actually JFK’s remains, or were they all being tested as Sweets believed? Both? What about the revalation that Booth was a descendant of John Wilkes Booth? Seems like something that should have crossed my mind at some point before, but it totally never did.

Bones ~ The X in the File

Our X-Phile hearts are still a flutter with joy from this episode. Personally, I think it shows great restraint on Bones’ part that they managed to wait until the 5th season to throw out an X-Files themed episode, and a pretty good one at that! I have to admit that at some point the episode seemed a little too full, and my focus got a little lost between the case, the Roswell side of the investigation, the Jeffersonian side of the investigation, the Angela/Wendell romance, and the Hodgins jealousy issues, but for the most part we really enjoyed this one.

Quick recap of the case: A UFO watcher in Roswell stumbled upon a body in the dessert that looked distinctly alien (spoiler alert: it wasn’t). It turns out that the body was of a female fellow UFO nut, who as it turns out was having an affair with the guy who discovered her. The girl (or “El Crazerita” as the shot gun toting land owner, played by Patty the daytime hooker from My Name Is Earl, called her) was in the UFO business for the money, hoping to make a big discovery that will pay off big. Not so luckily for her, the discovery she made wasn’t so Alien as it was corrupt (illegal dumping of battery waste in Mexico). But it wasn’t the lover or the company that did her in. It was Langly from The X-Files! Or rather Dean Haglund playing a café owner – but let’s just continue calling him Langly, shall we? He thought that the footage El Crazerita filmed of the battery dump was genuine Alien encounter footage. One thing leads to another, and the girl gets a head full of ball bearings courtesy of a toy zip gun.

Best Moments:

• The X-Files theme ring tone coming from the cell phone dropped near the alien looking body. I knew it was coming thanks to the commercials, but I laughed so hard anyway.

• Brennan screaming as the “alien” body appeared to be rising up in the MRI machine, and Booth drawing his gun only to have it fly at the machine.

• Hodgin’s experiment to determine what type of weapon was used to shoot the ball bearings into the victim’s head. He got a little too much enjoyment out of placing wigs and photos on the melons to make them represent himself, Wendell, Cam, and Angela.

• Booth convincing Brennan that aliens might be nice anthropologists like her.

Bonus trivia: The children’s show Booth mentioned, Rocketship 7, was hosted by David Boreanaz’s father.

FOXy Thursday: Bones and Fringe

Bones ~ The Gamer in the Grease

Here’s my beef with this week’s episode of Bones. The entire B-plot centered around Hodgins, Sweets, and Fisher (the depressed and apparent sex-god intern of the week) taking turns camping out for Avatar. Surrounded by people with painted blue faces and costumes. Seriously? NO ONE is going to be camping for Avatar. I know you guys are clearly being paid a lot of sponsor money to make us think we need to rush out and get our tickets in advance (BTW, there is no way we are seeing this movie), and that the actor who plays Fisher is apparently in it – so good for him, but there is no way we can take that seriously.

Also I felt bad for Cam this episode. It seems like she had nothing to do but run around and try to find people, or get stuck in the middle of Bones’ and Booth’s discussion on what should be considered a sporting event.

Oh and the flesh sliding off the body in the beginning was seriously nasty. And yet it didn’t gross us out half as much as the giant worm parasite on Fringe.

Fringe ~ Snakehead

Oh man those worms creeped me out. Nasty. When that thing started coming out of that poor Chinese guy’s mouth in the beginning I was totally ready to vomit. ICK! While the case was interesting and all, the really relevant parts of the episode revolved around Walter who wanted to be treated like an adult and was insisting on his independence. Unfortunately he found out that he wasn’t ready for such a big step. When he got separated from Astrid he forgot Peter’s phone number (and forgotten that he had a cord with all the contact info), and used up all of his spare change trying to call for help. And then he cried on the bus stop with that old Chinese lady who didn’t understand a thing he was saying, but she was kind enough to take him home and eventually got in contact with Peter. Broke our little hearts. And when he found out Astrid had be followed and hurt because of him and he saw her again back at the lab with blood on her shirt and tears in her eyes – I can’t even handle it. Love them so much. Luckily for all involved Walter implanted a tracking chip in his neck so that it wouldn’t happen again. Awwwww.

Here’s your observer sighting and glyph for the week:

Bones ~ The Plain in the Prodigy

This episode of Bones centered around the death of an young piano prodigy. The catch – he was Amish – no piano for you! While on his Rumspringa (a period of time when Amish youth are allowed to leave to experience the “English” world and decide whether they want to return to commit themselves to Amish adulthood) he was going to audition for the music conservatory. Music is forbidden in the Amish community, so this would mean leaving behind his family and religion, and the cute little Amish girl he was set to marry. As it turned out, he had decided to return home, and had even broken his hand so as to remove the piano playing temptation. However, he ended up being in the wrong place at the wrong time – he put up a fight while his apartment was being robbed, and fell over the balcony to his death (the robber threw his body onto the train tacks and it was dragged for a couple of miles, leaving bits of the remains all over the place). This case was really rare in the fact that the murderer was someone we had not been introduced to at any point in the episode – in fact we never even learned his name! Bold choice, Bones.

The funniest moment in the episode was given away in the commercials, but I still loved it. Booth and Brennan go to the apartment of another Amish boy in his Rumspringa, whom the lived had lived with at some point. The boy opens the door with a bong in his hand, and through the door we get a glimpse of Amish kids smoking, drinking, and making out. Brennan yells into the room:

“This is not in the proper spirit of Rumspringa!”

I knew it was coming, but I still died.

Other notable moments were Booth and Brennan talking about religion, their First Times, and Booth scaring the crap out of a teenage boy dating Cam’s teenager Michelle.

“Quite ornate for a vow of poverty” – Brennan on the Pope’s Hat

”I gave it a lot of thought. I finally found a man who could provide a skillful introduction.” – Brennan on her first time at 22

”The first time, you should be in love. Totally googoo for the other person.” Booth on his first time at 16.

Also, who don't the Amish girls take off their bonnets during Rumpringa? You're dumping everything else about your religion - why not that too?

Bones - The Bond in the Boot

Bones

We shake our fists at DirecTv for failing on Fox Thursday night, because it was damn inconvenient watching this online. But we did it! There was some super spy work going on, diamonds, encoded information, intrigue, etc. All fine and good and interesting.

More interesting was the fact that Wendell, our favorite intern of the week, had lost his scholarship. He’s from a poor rough and tumble neighborhood (in Boston, I think?), and there’s no way he could keep the internship at the Jeffersonian without that scholarship (or “the miracle” as his Mom calls it). While the gang all tip-toes around it, avoiding telling him for as long as possible, Brennan tells him that he’ll be missed and that it’s been a pleasure working with him, etc., not realizing that this is all news to him. Ohhhh, Bones. After exploring all other funding opportunities, there they could find the money to keep his funding going. By the end of the episode (oh, and by the way, he totally should have been King of the Lab this week), they were all saying their goodbyes. Just as he’s about to leave, Cam runs in to tell him that there scholarship received an anonymous donation that allows him to continue the rest of his education. As it turns out, there were enough anonymous donations for 3 scholarships. Thanks Hodgins and Brennan! And maybe Cam? Not Angela – she packs her own lunch, girl ain’t got that kind of money.

In the squee department this week, Booth needs to fix his plumbing and refuses to pay a plumber to do what he is perfectly capable of doing. The trouble is that he doesn’t remember any of the plumbing knowledge that he had before the coma. Convinced that he can figure it out, he tries to get a Plumbing for Dummies book, but the bookstore was sold out. Sweets convinces Brennan to have Booth teach her how to fix pipes, because it would be good for him and their relationship. She finds him the book, but expects to be reimbursed so that his pride isn’t injured. His pride would much rather save $6. The end of the episode has a very sweet moment between them under the sink fixing his pipes, which of course ends with water everywhere.

Bones - Harbingers in the Fountain

Last night the Season Premier of Bones brought us great joy and happiness, as Bones always does. We had great guest stars (Hey Cyndi Lauper, how you doin' girl?), good music (hey again, Cyndi Lauper), good "I don't know what that means" moments from Bones, a good case, and great Booth and Bones moments. They hug, Bone's offers to kiss his forehead, Booth rescues her from a scalpel stabbing doctor, he comforts her and calls her "baby" while they wait for the ambulance to arrive - what more could we ask for?

As it turns out, Booth's coma dream from last year's season finale (which had a lot of fans very angry, even though we found it delightful), isn't going to be resolved quite as quickly as you might have thought. Booth did have brain damage, after all. One of the lasting side effects of the coma dream (in which Booth and Bones were married, owned a club, wore some rocking clothes, and were expecting a baby) is that Booth is in love with Bones. DAMN RIGHT! The problem here is that we can't be sure if this is love is genuine, or if it will fade as he recovers. He confessed he feelings to Cam, who told him to trust his heart and tell her how he feels, but he'd better be damn sure the feelings are real, because it will destroy Bones if he changes his mind. Sweets showed up with Brain scans which claim to show that he wasn't in love before the coma, but he was during the coma, and still is. He says that these will fade, and to not hurt Brennan by telling her his feelings if they are fake. I love that everyone is so protective of Bones' heart.

In the end he is all set to confess his love to her, when a clown shows up and squirts him in the face. Now let's take a moment to remember just how much Booth hates clowns. He shot a noisy fake clown that was part of an ice cream truck. Instead of hurting the clown, however, Booth laughs and honks the clown's nose. Bones is very confused. She reminds Booth that he hates clowns, but not to worry. She's sure he'll hate clowns again in a few weeks. Booth chickens out on confessing his romantic love to her, but he does say he loves her "in a professional and at-a-girl, kind of way." We'll take what we can get. We're looking forward to all of the longing, I-love-you-so-much-it-hurts looks Booth will be directing towards her this season.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what a bald computer generated Cyndi Lauper might look like, we've got you covered:

You're welcome.

Here are some nice quotes from the night:

“You were there. You killed the bad guy dead. I know you hate that, but it always make me a little glad. Does that make me a bad person?” ~ Caroline to Booth

"Well, they gave me medication, so I feel how I imagine people of average intelligence feel all the time.” ~ Brennan

"Yes, he knows the truth of you, and he is dazzled by that truth" ~ Avalon (Cyndi Lauper) to Brennan

"By the way, my cards tell me that this all works out eventually." ~ Avalon to Booth