So Canaan . . . what exactly about Mika screamed “Amazing Race material” to you? Was it her paralyzing fear of heights, or was it her deathly fear of water? Oh I get it, it was the COMBO! They should totally cancel each other out, right? Like double negatives? No?
The last challenge of the day required both team members to go down a steep water slide, though a really cool tube where you could see sharks swimming around you, and reach the bottom for your last clue directing you to run down the beach and meet up with Phil. No biggie, right? Well, that’s what most of teams thought. Then came Mika and Canaan, in second to last place with a healthy lead on the Globe Trotters. Mika is petrified. She’s wearing swimmies (or floaties if you prefer, to each his own) which is an absolutely ridiculous concept considering that it is a WATER SLIDE where the water by necessity is never more than two inches deep. At the bottom it is maybe a whopping 3 feet. Those things would do nothing but make you less aerodynamic and be way uncomfortable on this type of slide. So she’s freaking out. Canaan tries to coax her to sit down and as soon as she is near the opening he tries to FORCE HER down the slide. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh dude. Bad bad bad bad bad call. Way to make a bad situation worse. Now she’s terrified of the slide AND Canaan. He’s trying to push her down, while she’s begging to slide attendant to intervene. “Help me! Help me!” Man, he was not loving his job that day. Cross your arms and feet. That is all he is required to tell you. He didn’t sign up for any damsel in distress business, and he in fact does not help her, help her.
So there’s Canaan, running around telling her “'I'm begging you. You are breaking my heart. You will regret it,” which isn’t helping at all. Despite him being a jerk by trying to force her down the slide (which, by the way, could have resulted in some serious physical damage if she went flailing down unprepared), I can’t blame him. She’s ridiculous. The Globe Trotters manage to catch up, which enacts a 2 minute move it or lose it rule. The normally congenial Big Easy tries to psych her out, “''Don't do it. I wouldn’t do it. It's high. It's a long way up here…. If you're scared, come on back and we'll walk back down with you.” Some people may have found this a little low (Canaan certainly did), but it only amused us. I mean, come on – she wasn’t going anywhere! Finally their 2 minutes are up and the Globe Trotters fly by them down the slide. Canaan goes too with some vain hope that Mika might follow. Not so much. Mike cries a little bit and then makes her way back down the stairs to find Canaan, who tells us in their exit interview that he doesn’t hate her. Sure dude. One million dollars lost because of a waterslide. What’s to be mad about.
So the question that everyone is asking:
Would you rather lose the Amazing Race because of a waterslide or a porta potty? (I’m looking at you, Jen and Kisha).
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